Color Injection

An Attempt.

2010-09-23T01:48:00.003+08:00

Hi.

I really have no idea how to revive this little page right here. But it is essential that I start writing again because 3 months of on-off, mostly off, writing has caused me to rust. Badly.

So. Here's what happened in that 3 months. I won't elaborate on it, unless asked. It's kinda not something I wanna talk about since it involves my family.

- I got into a huge argument with my Dad, and it was really bad. It was the first time ever that I screamed at him, loud enough to wake the neighbors, flipped him off and provoked him purposefully by fabricating certain things. I loved my Dad. But I've come to realize that he wasn't as great of a man as I once thought he was. The next day, I packed my bags and left home.

- A lot of you have been speculating and I've never once confirmed this but yes, for the past 3 months, I've been crashing at Rei's. I intruded on his home, probably one fine afternoon. It's been so long, I don't even remember really. It was rude of me but I was homeless then.

- It was fun living with Rei. Like all couples, we have our ups and downs and all that stuff. Then I finally got to meet his friends, one by one and I'm very happy to be friends with them. They're a fun bunch to be with.

- I somehow managed to make myself nocturnal. For a good few weeks, I was like Ciel. I was always only hyperactive in the middle of the night.

- I've also gained a few pounds, from all the late night McDonald's & KFC we've been ordering. And also because of the potato chips Rei's been feeding me. I has liek a new fav food nao. Potato-dono.

- I've improved in my make up skills, I turned a boy into a girl. It was not easy to do. His features were very aggravating.

- I auditioned for a certain something that I will not disclose on until the results are out, 'cause I don't wanna jinx it. I'll most likely be let down though, realistically speaking.

- I had another photoshoot, titled ☆ ハチミツ [☆Honey] because of the lighting, with my ever favorite lovely photographer, Christina Keslie and the ever cute dollface, Heidi Kurumi. I've improved greatly. Pictures can be viewed here.

- I am also now friends with Channice.

- I grew. 2cm. I am now 5'8" ie 1.72m. *smug* That's the minimum required height to be a Model in the states.

- I finally moved back home a week ago, 'cause Rei needed to concentrate on his Finals that were coming up. But it's alright, I'm all good with my family now.

So that's what's been happening in that 3 months and there's probably a lot more that happened, but I can't remember. My memory's really bad, that's one of the reasons why I keep a blog and I'm happy to know that you guys periodically come here to relive certain memories from certain times through my words alone.

I'm thinking of doing a lot of things for this blog. One being changing my url. Color Injection's getting pretty old and has already lost it's original meaning. Another being changing my skin. As much as I hate using blogskins because it's very widely used among SG Teenage Bloggers, I admit that blogskins give me more room to be creative with as compared to blogger templates. Templates are pretty much fixed. And I'm not really keen on going into CSS codes just yet.

In an attempt to revive this page, and being very active on the internet, I shall try to write about my thoughts on a certain article I happen to come across or write an essay, in addition to blogging about my day.

But let me just rant for a bit here. I hate rollover advertisements that take up a quarter of your freaking tiny screen and you close it and accidentally rollover it again and the whole cycle repeats. I also hate advertisements that have sound in them, which is pretty much just a stupid html code embedded with a stupid YouTube video which should be flagged and taken down, reason being that it's annoying. I didn't get to celebrate my half-year anniversary achievement with Rei because I moved out and he doesn't even have time to have dinner with me. *sulk*

I have a shitload of stuff I could sulk, whine and complain about but I'll leave that for next time.

I'm kinda tired now, so I'm gonna go read Animorphs again and go to bed.

It still doesn't feel right.

2010-09-03T06:12:00.002+08:00

I was writing a post on all that's happened and halfway I started tearing up.

I asked Love for a hug and was completely ignored.

It's understandable, he just woke up.

But I feel even more like shit now.

2010-09-02T08:49:00.002+08:00

I WANT TO WRITE BUT GODDAMMIT I'M TOO TIRED TO.
There is a ton of stuff I want to do but the problem with that is there's too many, I have no fucking clue where to start and I end up not doing anything altogether.It's frustrating, it's pissing me off, it's just, FUCK!

Mental Block

2010-08-16T21:18:00.004+08:00

Red: I wanna blog, I wanna blog. Baby, I wanna bloggggggggggg.

Rei: Just go ahead and do it.

Red: But I don't know how to start.

Rei: Well, you've forgotten how to. I know that feeling, it's like you haven't touched it for so long, you try to and you're at a complete loss as to what to write.

Red: But I do have something I want to write about.

Rei: Then yours is quite a different problem. My problem is always that I didn't know what to write about.

Red: I wanna share everything that's happened. It's tiring keeping it all in.

Rei: Then why bother what the world thinks? It's your life not theirs.

Red: I know, I know. Sigh, the day I start writing again, will be the day I stop caring about how others look at me.

Rei: How do you know people's opinions of you will change?

Red: I don't know, but neither do you.

Rei: I'm not saying they won't.

Red: They might, and I don't want to lose a coupla readers just 'cause I've changed and they don't like it.

Rei: You might've already lost a coupla readers, not because you changed but because you stopped blogging altogether.

Red: That's true. And usually at this point, I'd say, "Fuck what the world thinks." but that brings us to the problem of, how the hell do I start?

Rei: Just bring people up to speed and update them about your life. [Continues playing Tetris on brother's iphone.]

Red: [Facepalm]

Rei: Hmm?

Red: That's the whole problem, I don't know how to start to write about my life. Sigh.

Rei: [Continues playing Tetris, failing epicly] Gahhhh!

Red: [Sweatdrop] Thank you love, you've been very helpful.

I wanna write again, but I have to do things in chronological order, a bit of an OCD on my part, or so sez Rei, the God of Epic Failure At Tetris. I have so many things I want to do, I want to write about my family matters, that's the very first thing I want to write about. But I just can't seem to. This irrational fear, that you guys won't like how I've changed, is holding my back.

I also want to venture into doing Anime Review Blogs, my style. And I want to continue with my Talk Shows. I've been wanting to continue my Naruto Talk Shows, finish them and start on Kuroshitsuji Talk Shows. And I can't do all these until I write about my family matters.

Sad face.

Sigh.

A Dream Is Just A Truth Or Dare

2010-07-29T12:22:00.006+08:00

I had a dream this morning, a rather enjoyable dream. However, I was awoken from my sleep at 6am, cutting my dream short. Grumpy, I got out of bed and dragged Rei along with me. [He had to get up for school, not me, and he's a huge bitch to wake up. BTW, Rei is in the IB Program, if you don't already know, and he isn't some shota from lower secondary. But that's a rather nice thought, isn't it? *Shotacon* ] Once he got ready, I turned towards him with sleep-addled eyes, I told him about my dream.

It was an Anime-styled dream, first that I've had that actually has me as the main female protagonist. The style was similar to that of Soul Eater. Why? Because I think I remember Death the Kid being there. Who wouldn't be able to recognize the 3 white stripes on his hair? In my dream, we were sitting on rocks in the vast sea of nothingness, or quite possibly a really misty lake, discussing about the antagonist and how we managed to evade her or how we can come up with ways to deal with her over one little comment I made a little while back.

I didn't think that little comment was much when I said it, and I don't remember it now, but the ever paranoid Death the Kid managed to think out various possibilities and solutions from that one little comment alone. Shocked and amused, I turned to my best friend, a faceless female in my dream, and told her, "I didn't think that was much when I told you." And this was where my dream stopped.

That was the most fun I've had in days, weeks, months.

That was what I told him. He turned away, clearly upset over that statement and went to wear his socks and pack his bag. "What's wrong," I asked and we attempted to talk things out. He told me, that he didn't want to see my face like that anymore, he said that was all it takes now to upset him. That face, that face with that small smile and those sad, sorrowed, empty eyes.

He's such an idiot.

- - - + - - -

Wow, okay, apologies, I didn't mean for the prologue to be that long. Here look at this picture for a while.

Alright, I'll be frank. The reason why I'm still hesitating to blog about everything is because whatever that's happened may or may not change your impression of me. I don't want anyone to be disgusted with me and stop reading my blog because you've realized I've changed. I've definitely change within the timespan of a little over 2 months. A lot has changed.

I've lost a lot.

I remember what it was like to live without a care, to live each day having fun. It's depressing and ugly, what I've become.

Tell me, let me know, will you listen to what I have to say? Will you listen and withhold judgement? Will you continue to listen to what I will have to say in the years to come?

Will you?

Karma.

2010-06-19T12:51:00.004+08:00

Goddammit, I gotta stop doing this. Writing, then disappearing, then writing again. Where the hell is the consistency?

But I'm ending everything now. I won't write about the blog war anymore 'cause, I feel sad for someone now. I feel sad for Channice.

Channice, I read your post. The good and bad dedications one. The one about me, I'm not gonna respond to it but I'd just like to say, that CTRL + ALT + DEL thing was on my blog in one of the blog wars posts. So there.

But your post to Amanda... I really feel sorry for you.

Kimiko Aki :
There’s both good and bad here .

I love you alot alot more now than 3 years ago , (: you have really grown up :D i just love making you laugh , seeing you smile . You’re also always there for me before you got into a relationship with Jun Hui . And thanks for protecting me from Devil, Ronald and Gerald. Muaxx.

But after you got to know Jun Hui , you changed again . You started talking to me lesser . You text me lesser . You , coming to find me , also decreased . Well , i dont know what to say but , we’re drifting if you cant see . Also , im always there to patch you and Junhui together whenever you both quarrel . So , this drifting thing makes me feel that you ‘wang en fu yi’ :/ sorry my words are crude but you know me , im straight forward . :/
know that i still love you looooooads , xoxo .

You were her new best friend after me and this is how she treats you once you've helped her snag Jun Hui? You even helped her get back together with him when they argued because as both their best friends you felt like you needed to do something and I can bet you, without your help they wouldn't still be together. Even if you don't want me or even need me to be, I'm on your side in this situation. The one thing I cannot stand to see is one person using another as nothing but a spare. I feel bad for you, truly I do.

I won't antagonize you anymore, but I'd like to say your English has definitely improved. Also, last long with your boy and have a good life.

I can't believe Amanda did that to you. Sorry. :/

But anyway, I don't wanna continue any longer. Channice has decided to let it die down, then so will I. It's not really in my nature to continue something like this when the opponent has decided to let it go. Besides, it'd just make me look sour.

So to everyone that's been reading, and participating in this overblown drama, I hope you had fun. Something like this won't happen again in a long while, I assure you. My only regret is not getting to know the other people who've participated. You guys seem like a pretty alright bunch. We could've went for lunch or something sometime, discussing how terrible the kids of today have become. You know the conversation can be endless when you talk about human stupidity.

And now that all these have ended, I'm gonna *TRY* to be more active here again. It's actually pretty hard considering how things are these days and trust me, work is not the issue here.

I promise I'll really write about all that's happened one day.

"Mai Name Ish SharShar &&& I Wan B Hannah Montana Wen I Gro Up!"

2010-06-09T22:46:00.007+08:00

Okay okay okay I know I'm 1 week late in my response to the "blog war" and I really couldn't help it. I don't MIA a lot from the internet unless something big happens with the exception of last time. That was just 'cause I was lazy. This time round, something rather big happened between my family and I and well, things became very complicated.

Before I continue to talk about everything that happened, because I believe all of you have a right to know why I wasn't able to continue entertaining you, let me just reply the tags first. I really don't want to do this anymore. I have other things that deserves my attention and concern more than this.

[On the bus ride home from work, I suddenly thought of the tags that I have yet to reply and I gave a disgusted look and dreaded returning home.]

But if you guys continue, I'll continue playing with you.

Tags Replied:

けいぎ: Hi Red, i have come to tag you.. Hahas.. I hope thing are fine alr.. (: I'm now at my friend house reading at ur blog post.. Cant stop laughing all the while.. :X

Haha nah, everything isn't fine yet. Glad you had a good laugh out of it.

Tesun: i think you misunderstand me. yes, there r ppl who r not related to the issue tagging. however, the act of tagging causes them to be noticed. this constitutes involvement which justifies the possible
Tesun: lashing out by any of the mentioned idiots to said people who chose to tag, including me. i'm sure the teacher is at fault for not doing a gd follow up on the student but perhaps said student was the
Tesun: only bad egg. with accordance to giving the benefit of the doubt, i would advise to leave off the teacher. sry for the rant. personally, i prefer the phrase 'i'm pooped~' :P
Tesun: oh, i would like 2 mention tht this thought process is completely natural, not something that happened because i went 2 JC. i had it since sec sch while being terribly frank, my greatest failure.

Two words: Well Said. Your tag has made a very good point. I withdraw my comment on "Channice should sue her English teacher on the grounds that s/he has failed to teach his/her student well."

Alice: Great Job! And the Saga continues! HAHA!

Terribly sorry for the late reply. I may have unknowingly stopped the war myself by not responding for a week. But if they continue to reply, rest assured, I will too.

Reminisce: Wow, is the war over? o.o

I don't know really. If they don't reply then it is I guess. If they do, then it isn't. I'm not the kind to back down. But if she still types like a fucking chimpanzee on crack, then I'm out.

CHANNICE: Th HIT CTRL ALT DEL wasnt even about YOU -_- gawd , who's blowing things up nao? zzz .

You got it off my blog, dumbass. You probably didn't even know the whole procedure until I pointed out Amanda's mistake. Gawd, where the hell did you store your brain? In the freezer? *Rolls eyes*

CHANNICE: You said you SEARCH then CLAIM right . Here's th ''bestfriend'' story. HE was th one started calling me BESTIE for no reason so i just called back . Get this right aite . -_-
CHANNICE: everyth is HE started it . so please , dont put it as if its ALL on my head.

Wow. The "bestfriend" story is that short? Wow. How much more fail can you people get. And now you just sound like you're pushing all the blame to him. Channice, you're 16. Stop acting like you're 6. There is a limit to being immature and god, even without me saying it, you've been pushing it.

The reason why it's all on your head now is because you just had to blow up on ONE fucking statement. You made yourself to be the center of attention when it wasn't even about you so you fucking bear ALL the attention you're getting. You asked for this, now you got it. Don't whine.

CHANNICE: Warn me out of your blog ? are you getting mad ? :O have patience w my english . im still learning ^^
CHANNICE: dont wanna entertain monkeys like us , never mind (: dont reply then . if you reply , arent you entertaining us already ???

No, I'm not getting mad. Now see Channice, after all this while, you have yet to hit me in a place where it hurts, so why would I get mad? All you've been doing is just prove both my statements true, you're a dumb slut and you type like a chimpanzee on crack.

I won't entertain you if you have nothing intelligent to say. But now that you've explained the "bestfriend" story I just had to reply it. If all your retorts were similar to your two tags above, then I may or may not choose to continue pwning and humiliating you.

CHANNICE: Are you my brain or something? Cos i can tell you I DO NOT HAVE MOTIVE when i FIRST met him . is slowly , gradually , knowing him , i LIKE him .
CHANNICE: Go and ask Junhui if i ever encouraged him NOT to break with Jiayi .
CHANNICE: who's th one NOT leaving a 15year old girl alone ? How did you get in contact with Jiayi in th first place ?
CHANNICE: You USED her to get all this shit info to BOMB us , isn't it USING her?

A gradual thing eh? Fair enough. That's perfectly normal and very possible. But this doesn't absolve you from the fact that you flirted with him even though you already know he's attached.

"Go and ask Junhui if i ever encouraged him NOT to break with Jiayi ."

You do know that this sentence is a positive sentence? In proper English, your sentence would be, "Go on and ask Jun Hui if I have ever encouraged him NOT to break up with Jia Yi." Here's another English Lesson for you.

In this case, the opposite of "have ever" is "have always" and the opposite of "NOT" is pretty obvious. So what your sentence really means is "Go on and ask Jun Hui if I have always encouraged him to break up with Jia Yi." In the English Language, a double negative forms a positive. Your double negative being "have ever" and "NOT". No wonder I found your sentence weird when I first saw it.

And FYI, you just started talking about her situation with Jun Hui again. So really, you're not leaving her alone. I didn't ask her anything about her and Jun Hui after she told me to let it be. That's called being gracious and leaving the real victim alone. You, on the other hand, oh god. I already told you not to but you still went and brought it up. The topic is now about you and your stupidity and Amanda. No longer about Keigi. Keep up with the times, man.

To answer your question, I found her facebook through your facebook and contacted her via Facebook Private Message. We then exchanged contacts and there you have it.

Get your facts right.

I asked her for permission and told her if she thought I was nosy, she has the option of not telling me anything. She was gracious enough to give me information. I never used her. This was a fair and willing trade-off.

Your accusation was just downright rude to both Keigi and I and it's wrong.

Amanda: er... A isnt me.
Amanda: th post is not even about you . dont be so full of yourself and think that my whole world revolve around you . i dont even bother about you .

Really? The time stamp between A's tag and your blog post is reeeally close. Coincidental? I think not. You don't have a computer nor internet access. If A really wasn't you, your blog time stamp would be waaay different from A's tag's time stamp.

Well, you do have a lot of shit going around in your life, so it's completely understandable that whatever I'm doing doesn't matter to you. But see Amanda, if you didn't bother or care about me, you wouldn't be tagging here now would you? Tsk tsk tsk. Contradictory.

Oh: so Amanda really had sex? I thought it was just a rumour. Guess its true. A Christian indeed, hah.

No, trust me it's not a rumor. Chances are, most of the rumors you hear about her are actually true.

flammez: not my common used internet name, but bravo for your blog post. And what happened here does not only just meant them, but the whole generation is degrading to their standard. So thus, may there be a..
flammez: way to isolate those corrupted personnels from our future innocent children. Bless them all *I am not a christian in any chance*
flammez: *pardon me for my repeated tag due to slow internet processing* And no worries about them hacking your accounts, I will personally ensure it would be return to you, by myself or my administer friends.

Thank you and indeed. I hope there will be a way to isolate the one who choose not to use their brains from the ones that actually do.

Haha, it's alright and I'm not particularly afraid of them hacking it. Firstly, they don't have the knowledge or intelligence to, secondly, I know how to get back my stuff and get back at them myself. Interesting, you do coding?

Good Anon: Dumbasses

Indeed.

Sick & tired of this: STOP. IT. ALREADY. Ohmygod, you don't get sick of this don't ya. You know, people shooting you at least don't say directly. While you on the contrary want to shoot people with their real names?

Hi Sharlyn. Who the hell are you to ask me to stop? You're not my maker, you didn't breathe life into me, you don't own me, therefore you have no right to me. And yes, I don't get sick of it. Goddammit, can't you read? I said I feed off this kind of drama.

What do you mean people shooting me at least don't say it directly? You got a problem with me, come out and fucking say it with pride. Show your identity, show who you are, I'll slam you all the same. It is but only courtesy that you show your opponent who you are and not cower behind false names and throw sticks at your opponents.

Fact: The whole name thing. Read again to see who exactly started a whole drama about it. They wanted my real name and called me a nameless dog who's too ashamed of her real name. So there. You're another dumbfuck that doesn't understand English.

Sick & tired of this: What you should keep private and confidential, you should. No matter how much you hate that person. That's a person's basic right. Would you like it if someone's putting out all ur history for the
Sick & tired of this: whole wide world to see? I

Wrong. That isn't obligatory. It all depends on the individual's sense of loyalty and unfortunately my loyalty is only true till you fucking mess with me. You know this. You know how nice I've been to Amanda, you've seen how well I treated her, you were fucking there and you know I would do anything for her. You know this. Don't even think about denying it.

This whole incident is here because I, as her best friend then, finally had enough with the way she's been acting. I can't swallow her slutty behavior like you can. I was utterly disappointed in her. AND YOU CAN EVEN ENCOURAGE HER ON. Have you no shame, Sharlyn?

Fact: My whole damn history is put up for the whole damn world to see. Why the hell do you think I have a total of 10 different blogs, including this one? Why the hell do you think I revived my blog 6 times? I am ashamed of my past, as is everyone with theirs, but if I don't face my past and learn to let go of it, I can never move forward to the future. My past is put up on blogs because this is my way of letting go. My emotions, my pain, everything, flows from my heart to the tip of my fingers, to my blogs. That's how I let go.

As with Channice and her little band of pea brains, your comment is just downright stupid and useless.

Channice: to sick&tired , who are you ? -_- and who are you referring to? gawd. -_-
Sick & tired of this: Channice, not you. To JASMINE.
Channice: Dont scold her la. She's like this -_-

Are you dumb or dumb? == Why are you talking like you've known me for years? Have you finally have nothing else to say? Tsk tsk tsk.

Tesun: Red, i got a part time job le~ pay nt v high n only a few days a week, but i still think its a gd thing.

OOO! That's good! A little late but CONGRATS!

Stessen: WAH! 0.0 I haven't update myself for sometime... Ur post are.. WOOOO! LOL... Hi Hi! 0.0 Its kinda hard to tell if ya doing well or not... ={ so... talk to ya soon...

Haha, I'm fine, no worries. Haven't been better. Catch up with you soon okay? Let's do lunch sometime.

...when I finally have my pay. That's very important.

Tesun: Red, must watch otomen drama!!! I really liked tonomine and the final ep made me think tachibana is cute!!!

LOL okay, will do.

Now that I'm done with tags, let's move on to blog posts.

From Sharlyn's Blog:

[Sorry, I'm too damn lazy to take a screen shot and upload it here.]

People are fallible. You too, J.H.N are no exception. I'm fucking sick of you, and your stupid ways to antagonize people. I used to remember those days where you used to say "Nobody's perfect" but i'm wondering why you're acting like you're so perfect, like you're God, like you're the Right one and everyone else would be in the wrong. I guess you're "Nobody" that's why you think you're perfect. After i servered ties with you, i would still miss those days that we used to have. What i've seen past these days i don't think i'll miss it anymore because i believe you have lost your conscience.

Woo, big words. I'm perfect? Hell no. You misunderstand, I don't act like I'm perfect, I act like I'm superior. Why? Because I can. There is never a right or wrong in arguments, only who's better at debating. I'm a "nobody"? Dear girl, you're worse-off. You think you're somebody, talking like you actually have readers. What a load of bull. You know, you're just like how I used to be. I used to like to believe I was somebody 'cause I needed someone to listen to what I had to say, but deep down I knew I wasn't anyone. But I've made a small name for myself over the span of 4 years. I have people I don't know reading my blog, my life, with an average of 30 people coming here every single day.

I'm proud of it, I'm happy, I'm grateful that people want to hear what I have to say. And I am eternally grateful to them. When people want to hear my opinions, I become somebody to them. And that's more than enough for me.

So please girl, stop deceiving yourself, thinking that you're someone big. It's only gonna hurt more when you wake up.

Really? Awww man, how am I going to live without you missing the days we used to have? :'(

I've stopped reading your blog unless when necessary after we severed ties, why? Because its so full of poison ivy. People can get depressed while reading your blog, this is how much poison there is in your words. You can take it as a compliment, but only you yourself will feel that its good. Why do you love to bring people down? So that you will feel good about yourself when there's actually nothing good left about you?

Honey, I don't need a reader like you. You're too mentally immature to understand what the big girls are talking about. Poison ivy eh? Well, what the hell are you expecting from someone who calls herself RED? Were you expecting Little Miss Sunshine? Sorry to disappoint. In this cynical world, only the smart and witty can appreciate the words I spit. In this miserable place, in this wretched world, only stupid Christian dumbfucks like you get depressed over this shit.

Nothing good left about me? Well, then tell me, why do people still love me? Support me, encourage me? If there is no good left in me, why am I not locked up, in jail or in a straight-jacket in padded rooms? You're really asking for it, you know that. I only bring people down then the situation is such that that is the only way to vent my frustrations. It is human nature.

Why am i writing this post right now? Because your intended victim has been victimized by you for damn long and even thought alot of things are damn hurtful i told her not to rebutt. Because it'll just cause more childish rebuttals from you and i thought that you'll stop soon. But no, you continue antagonizing her. Call your ex best friend a "slut, whore" who do you think you are? Are you even in the position to comment or to condemn her actions? You're not God so stop pretending you are. Even if i hate someone to a very large extent i wouldn't call that person that. Because you might never know if you are refering to yourself. There's always this old saying that " if you point a finger at someone four fingers are pointing right back at you." get it girl.

Does she even have the courage to post whatever she had to say? Bear in mind, I still have the upper-hand in the whole situation. I can and will expose her when necessary. Childish rebuttals. Funny, coming from a childish person like you who's never lived life outside of Disney fantasies.

FACT: I would've stopped if Channice didn't blow the whole fucking thing up.

Are you even in the position to comment or condemn MY actions?

Human Right #18:
FREEDOM Of THOUGHT

Human Right #19:
FREEDOM Of EXPRESSION

You're nobody so stop pretending you are somebody. You're not me, you don't know the shit I go through, you don't know what goes through my head. We're very different individuals so fucking stop thinking everyone's like you.

And hi, Stupid, the real quote is, "If you point your finger at someone, remember there are 3 more pointing at you!" Get that right first, then we'll talk, a'ight?

Oh, and stop giving people English lessons too. We don't need it, or at least not from you. You didn't get 100% or even an A1 for your O'lvl so please, don't act like a professor and correct everyone's english. Look at where you are. Other people are having a proper life, rather than trying to replace Perez Hilton.

You just said people are fallible and I just admitted I'm not perfect.

Does a grade or a piece of paper define intelligence? You know Shar, you may have gotten a good grade in your 'O's but does it define you being intelligent? It just shows that you know how to study and studied hard. A lot of Singaporeans know how to do that and yet I take one good look at the whole lot of them and they're as dumb as fuck. Trigonometry? Calculus? Sure they know their textbook shit. What they don't know is life. Life doesn't come with a fucking textbook or manual and experience is a fucked up teacher. It gives you the test before giving you the lesson.

Here's another funfact, my scores sucked 'cause I couldn't be bothered to study. Does that make me stupid? No, that just means I'm fucking lazy. Read my whole blog again, talk to me in person again, tell me, do I sound like a dumbfuck like you?

Brilliant, you try to make a point about putting people down to feel good about oneself and here you just put me down to feel good and justify yourself. Win.

Shar, I took a break from studying and I found an alternative route to my future. I don't have to live my life like you normal fucks. I'm different, I got my own way. Talk to me when you're more successful than me in future, a'ight?

Besides, what should have been kept Private and Confidential should remain Private and Confidential no matter how much you hate a person. Because someone used to confide in you, it means that the person had trusted you before and so by putting someone's past on the net, dont you find youself quite shameful for doing so, for having to use such underhanded means just to get back at a person. You never think about the consequences of doing this don't you? Just imagine if it was reverse scenario where she was doing this to you instead. Oh, you won't imagine it because it just not you who is suffering so you don't give a fucking damn about the person's feelings! Oh yeah, i kinda thought about the consequence of posting this so i know i had it coming.

I've covered the whole P&C thing already.

You obviously never read my posts properly. I did say one thing I'm good at is thinking and guess what, I did think of the consequences but I still did it anyway. She doing this to me? Naw, she don't have the brains to. If it were to happen however, I would defend myself in every way possible. That's what you do in a debate. You defend your side and question your opponent's side.

You're right, I don't give a damn about you. Stop whining.

Disappointment can do a lot of shit to you. I've been disappointed all my life and I am extremely sensitive to disappointment. A Disney fucker like you will never understand it.

I have nothing else to say for now. I'm wasting my time in trying to get you to shut up which you just don't want to. So ohwell. Just some things that i wanna say.

You are wasting your time. So stop whining. This is between Amanda and me. Stop cutting in and making things worse than they already are. It was because of YOU that my relationship soured in the first place. Trying to act like the saint? Think again, dumbChristianfuck.

You don't love us by saying alot of hurtful and nonsensical things in your blog, shooting your friends. Nor we love you now because, like i've said, your blog is full of poison ivy, i believe that applies to you as well. A lot of things has happened until its so bloody messed up, bye honeybabes. Rest in peace. The world is ending.

Dumbfuck, I loveD Amanda. You? Not even once. So you can fuck off now.

Seriously Shar, just grow up and go away. People can see you were the one that made things worse the first time. Instead of helping Amanda and I in reconciling with each other, you deepened the wound. That first time, that was the first time Amanda and I ever had such a huge argument and it was all because of you. And there is only one thing I can deduce from that.

Were you jealous of us back then? Were you jealous that I was closer to Amanda than you'll ever be? Were you jealous that I clicked with her on a deeper level back then than you can ever hope to achieve? Tsk tsk tsk.

You can deny it, but this little worm will eat away at your conscience. One you claim to have.

Who's the real no good one now?

Right, I'm done slamming the bitchez. My next post will be about what happened during my one-week absence from the face of the internet. Although, I'm wondering if I should hold it off for another time.

We'll see.

I'm working tomorrow, I need my rest now. Good night to whoever's reading this.

2010-06-09T22:31:00.000+08:00

I'm finally home.
Come back tomorrow.
I have a shitload of things to update on.

"Arro. Mai Name Amanda. Hw 2 Spel Mai Name Ah?"

2010-05-28T22:55:00.010+08:00

Man, I am so effing tired. Fuck no, I'm not gonna use the now very common term, "Man, I'm so shagged." Look, I'm sorry to those who do use this phrase, but to me, you just look stupid. But hey, that's just my opinion.

Work today was very enjoyable. I don't know why, but I'm just in highspirits today after purposefully provoking my Dad last night. Everything about this will be in another post. It's not gonna be as interesting as the current drama, but hey, it's my life and I wanna talk a little about it.

Moving on now to the replying of the tags.

I wonder when this will end 'cause I'm definitely not the one that's gonna back down. But I hope this will end soon. I'm tired of it already.

Tags Replied:

Anonymous: Hi again! Just got to love your argumentative "essays". Great Job! Maybe these girls can pick up a skill or two from you!

Hello again! It's very nice to know that you love and enjoyed them. It makes me feel all warm and cozy inside~ Well, they can try, but honestly, it's gonna be a pretty big challenge for them. I didn't spend 4 years of my youth continuously doing this for nothing.

Yuki: WooHoo! Excellent piece of work you have here! I heard it from a friend of mine in my poly. All of you do not know me since I never met all of you before and yes, I am not from your school.Keep it up!

Hi, thank you for your compliment but I'd just like to point out that when you type like that, "All of you do not know me since I never met all of you before and yes, I am not from your school.", it makes everything seem very suspicious. No one would notice nor bother if you didn't emphasize on it. Just wanted to point that out, but thanks for the compliment anyway! It's much appreciated.

Kawasaki: love this blog of urs.personally know some of these ppl here.love the post abt aki, since i know her.totally agree with wat u said.u inspire me with ur language lol.

Hi, you have the same IP as the person above that's not possible to track. I'd just like to say, if you're just 1 person, you don't need to pretend. Everyone else here tagged as Anonymous so it's completely fine. But if you are 2 different people however, then I apologize for jumping to conclusions. But I very very very much appreciate the compliments.

Good Anon: Oh stop your charade of "prostitute" and "sluts" would you? Your birth certificates were just apologies from the condom companies.
Good Anon: I also placed my hand on the high five sign. I kid you not.

*Two thumbs WAY up* I actually saw a similar quotation once. "[Name]'s birth certificate is an apology letter from the abortion center." Ahaha, I know man, who wouldn't? I did it myself numerous times already.

A: attack opponent for grammar/spelling mistakes ? LOL @ " it makes things more fun", note on makeS thingS. (:

Hi, Amanda. Well well well, aren't you ashamed of your name yourself. What about all that talk about respecting your parents, and your parents giving you a name for a reason? You're all talk no action. You just pwned yourself on that.

Also, little girl, your English teacher may have taught you that when the noun is plural, your verb should be singular and vice versa. But that's only applied generally. There are many loopholes and exceptions in the English Language. And my dear brain-dead girl, in that long essay that I didn't proofread enough, you randomly picked out a grammatically correct sentence to use against me? My boyfriend spotted 2 minor mistakes in that post. A spelling mistake and a tense mistake. You could've used that and made your point valid but you didn't. Instead you choose to randomly pick a faultless sentence and made yourself look stupid.

Google "makes things". No, really, Google it. You'll find that there's absolutely nothing wrong with that sentence.

2-hit self-pwnage. Epic win.

Good Anon: A, Please leave the Grammar Nazi-ing to people who can Grammar Nazi

Indeed.

@JunHui: Hey did you just call yourself an it? ._.

My good person, you made me laugh very loudly and heartily. I can't believe I overlooked this point.

Channice: Criticising has two way spelling whut. Z and S -.- British and American spelling. My English teacher teach me that way D:

True. I only remembered there was US English and UK English when I saw your tag. My dictionary is defaulted to US English and when the red squiggly lines appeared under "Criticising", without thinking, I corrected you. There is nothing wrong with "Criticising" so I admit my mistake and shall take back my words about "criticizing" and "criticising" from my previous post.

- - -

I went to bed after typing half of this.
Work took a lot outta me but I was glad I could talk to love before I went to bed and rant a little about my Dad.

I won't tell anyone how your voice is my favorite sound.

Yesterday, 29th, I went to work again and surprise surprise, Love popped in some time in the evening. Pretending to be serving a customer, I served him several kicks in the ass in addition to showing him some of the horror movies we're left with. It was fun while he was here with me but when he left to meet up with his friends, it got me feeling empty. So that wasn't very fun.

But check out our messages:

Rei: See you tomorrow love. Maybe next time I'll come around as you're closing up and take you home. Just wanted to see you today. I love you very much too, sugar ❤

Red: Haha thanks baby. Why the sudden urge?

Rei: No reason. I sometimes miss you spontaneously for no good reason at all. And it really was on the way. Sort of. ❤

Red: You missed me?? Awwww! Really??

Rei: Of course really! Heretics and non-believers in the all-mighty, all-powerful, all-awesome Me shall suffer an eternal damnation of torture. Specifically tickling

Red: Fuck you go die.

Rei: Heh. Only joking love, don't be mad. I really do feel random tinges of desire to see your face and your smile. And I'm simply glad I got to today :)

God, he's so fucking cute and I'm so fucking lucky to have him.
It's a Romeo & Juliet story all over again.

Anyway, I went to bed early last night too 'cause we had this last customer who just wouldn't get the fuck out even after closing. We close at 10, I only left at 11. My co-workers probably only left at 11.30. I only got the privilege to go off earlier than the rest 'cause I'm new.

Arrived home and went straight to bed after washing up.

I've finally got my well-deserved 13 hour rest so here I am. I'll continue the post now. Sorry for the wait.

- - -

Tesun: shut up n no one would notice... /swt u guys seriously need a new brain or a 24hr nap. the nap works wonders for me~ tho its so hot now i keep waking up
Channice: Tesun. Red NOTICED my 'judgemental' was Spelt wrongly. So what's wrong with me correcting her 'CRITICISING'? Pfft, think before you say please. At least red would think. Zzz.
Tesun: T.T it's nt my fault tht e msg got cut off... i was saying tht grammar shredding is unnecessary. if u can't fig out the errors, deliberate or not, then just - *cont w/ previous msg*

It is true, grammar shredding isn't necessary, but that's really just my hobby as a Grammar Nazi.

Channice, your "JUDGMENTAL" is still spelled wrongly. Hi, if you wanna take a stab at someone, kindly make sure you leave no openings and opportunities to let them take a stab back at you. Pfft, you sure you learned something from all of this? It doesn't appear so to me. At least Tesun speaks with more maturity than you. Zzz. ==

Tesun: to ur question red: hmm, slut works. hell its perfect... btw, channice, a prostitute is some1 who gets PAID for sexual activities. so technically, no 1 called u that. but if u r gonna admit to it.. :P

I know man. "Slut", while a little strong, is the closest word I could find that perfectly describes Channice and Amanda and their whole situation. Nice stab at her.

Yes indeed, Channice, no one called you a prostitute. When I copied and pasted the entire meaning of "Slut" from urbandictionary.com, I even highlighted the definition I was using. So your entire argument about sluts being prostitutes is completely and utterly unrelated to the matter at hand, therefore your point is now invalid.

You fail at trying to be me.

Good Anon: I suggest you sue your english teacher, Channice
Channice: Oh, sue on what basis? O.o'
Good Anon: On the basis that your failure to grasp the english language must be somewhat her responsibility. i'm sure there's a penal code : Dumbass

Personally, I'd like to agree with Good Anon.

If we put the whole British English thing and American English thing aside, Channice, you should still sue your English teacher for the horrific English you have. Terrible grammar and spelling mistakes, you speak like an ape and you type like a chimpanzee on crack.

Also, you, Amanda and Jun Hui should try suing your brains for non-support.

Channice, I'm warning you right now. If you're not going to argue properly with valid points the next time, fucking get the fuck out of my blog. I'm not gonna entertain some crackhead chimpanzee that doesn't even try anymore.

christina: btw junhui, a smart thing to do would be not reply at all. because you are going nowhere anyway, and considering that you are ermmm. not so good in defending yourself, you probably have 0percent of
christina: winning jas, who like obviously have a lot of experience, (LOL) yeahhhh. and stop embarassing yourself, but oh well, feel free to continue doing that, cause i just love to read jasmine's blog :/

4 years and counting, darling. It's nice and fun to insult them and show everyone reading this how much of an idiot they all are, but really there is a limit and Channice is already pushing it.

Really, you three. If you don't have anything smart or dumb enough to shred to say, then don't say anything at all.

Heidi: Chris, if junhui stops tagging, it'll be bored! I love seeing play boys getting owned ttm!!

Aha, all good things must come to an end one day Hei. But as long as they continue to play with me, I'll continue to play with them. So you don't have to worry about me stopping.

Tesun: good anon, i'm sure u mean well. BUT i stand by e things i said. DO NOT BRING IN OTHER PPL NOT RELATED TO THIS ISSUE. its rude and crude.
Good Anon: I know you meant well too but I also stand by the fact that half of the people tagging here don't really have anything to do with the issue directly either.

I agree, it is rude and crude to bring in other people unrelated to this issue but personally, I only believe that applies to parents, friends and loves. To insult someone else's parents, it's the lowest and dirtiest thing one can do in an argument. To insult someone else's friends that aren't even involved in the situation is just rude. To insult someone else's partners/crushes, that's just dirty.

However, to insult an English Teacher that has failed to do his/her duty in educating our youths, to me, that's alright 'cause the teacher is not in any way very closely related to Channice so this Teacher X is pretty much an anonymous person. Unlike parents, friends and loves, where they aren't as anonymous as a high school teacher.

Half the people tagging here are just here for the fun of it, which is perfectly fine by me. Why should I hog all the fun right?

Alice: just a passerby, and love reading your interesting posts. Keep it up!

Thank you very much for the compliment. Though I'd like to apologize if this is getting boring. The opposition isn't being much fun anymore.

Moving on to the facebook statuses and blogs and well well well, this is interesting:

I'm glad you're having fun laughing at your boyfriend, your wife and yourself too. Believe me we're having one hell of a time over here laughing at you guys.

Correction. I've never once said nor acknowledge that I was beautiful. I did, however, state that "I have two-faces and neither are exceptionally beautiful." Also, it's not "beautiful mask" it's "pretty" and I did say you had a pretty face. So, when I said your pretty mask was falling off, it fits perfectly 'cause your slutty behavior was getting worse.

Making out with a junior you don't even like, stealing another girl's boyfriend, originally being his fling, having had sex with 6 different guys out of 29 ex-boyfriends, openly cheating on your ex-boyfriends with up to 4 different guys. Wow, girl, you're a slut. Now all your lack is STDs and AIDS then you're all set.

I don't wear masks. Not anymore. In my relationships with people it's either 100% or 0%. I've said that already. When I was with you, I would do anything for you. I laid my future down on the line for you, I was ready to risk my neck for you. You know this, you know that I would. But after our relationship soured, you've shown me nothing but how utterly revolting you are.

I may be ugly because I can't keep my mouth shut, I may be ugly because I blackmailed you with your fake medical papers, I may be ugly because I judged you, but if that's what I'm ugly for, then everyone in this world is ugly.

You, on the other hand, are uglier for your slutty behavior and your pretentiousness.

Your comment has now been shredded and deemed useless. Try again.

Well Amanda, I accept myself for who I am. My never-shut-up characteristic is something that can be loved and hated, envied and disgusted with by many different kinds of people. There are people who love me for my wit and insults, hate me for my with and insults. There are people who've envied me for my ability to say what I want irregardless of the consequences, as there are people who are disgusted with me with my destructive nature.

It all depends on the individuals themselves. So to some people, I may have been slapping myself for all the nasty things I've said, proving that I am a nasty person myself, but to many, I'm a fucking witty hero. So yet again, your pointless comment has been deemed useless.

You know, this is the only smart and valid point you've made in this entire overblown drama. But then again the only reason you could make this smart and valid point was because of my carelessness. That's rather pathetic isn't it?

We've covered this above already so I'm moving on.

Just "talking"? Are you sure about that Channice? Just "talking"? Interesting. That's not what I saw and that's not what Amanda said. You liked this guy. What makes you think a girl like you never succumbed to temptations and lust? You're no superwoman, you ain't no holy woman either.

A girl named Poh introduced you to Luffy and Keigi and then all of a sudden you're best friends with Luffy? "Best friends" don't happen that quickly. Best of friendships take years and suffer through millions of little tribulations before they're formed. Why the hell do you think I have never had a "best friend" that lasted with me more than 6 months? According to my study on psychology and the general human brain and how it works, you had a motive when you first saw and got to know him. That motive was proven when Amanda said you liked him.

Your take on "flirts" is incorrect and just plain dumb.

Putting what you learned from my blog to use, eh? Btw, that doesn't work in life when the "You" actually has a mind and will of her own. Stop pretending to be an computer geek. You look stupid.

Well, none of you people even bother telling me the whole damn thing so I can't exactly do anything about it now can I? You people don't even bother explaining the whole story then hurl big words like, "judgmental", spelled wrong even, at me. What you're doing isn't helping the situation either.

If you guys had bothered explaining the whole situation instead of Channice blowing up in my tagboard, I would've been the one who looked bad, not the other way around. If I was wrong, I would've apologized and left it as that, left that post as me just being a whiny bitch, ranting. But no, Dumnice over there just had to explode in my tagboard which pretty much led to the humiliation of all 3 of you and your little minion friends.

You 3 are one of the most, no actually THE MOST intellectually-challenged people I've ever known.

Sue your brains for non-support please.

Also, Channice, thank you for referring me as "Satan" while you talked to Keigi over text message and my my, you even asked Keigi to stop "supplying me with information 'cause I'm just using her". That's rather rude, I'm not using her. But more importantly, do you have something to hide now? Also, "Satan" is a compliment for someone like me.

Channice, some Christian you are. You are Christian only by name, you don't practice what was preached. Just like Amanda. Expect to go to Heaven when you die? Forget it, at the rate you guys are living, especially you Amanda, the only place you're going is down there with me. I hope you like hot places and screams of torture.

But anyway, anything regarding Keigi will now cease under her request. She's moved on already, I'd like to leave it as that.

Everything else that doesn't involved Keigi, example:

1. Amanda's slutty behavior
2. Channice's rant on everything else about her
3. Jun hui's stupidity

and all that jazz, those are fine.

So continue whatever you're doing, dumbfucks, just don't bring the situation about Keigi up. If you decide to however, then to everyone else that's reading this, you're a complete asshole/bitch for not leaving a 15 year old girl alone.

I'm gonna go prepare to go over to Love's now. Talk to you guys later.

...waking up at 1 in the afternoon makes me feel like I've wasted a day.

2010-05-27T13:14:00.003+08:00

You were once the guy I respected most.
You were the first man that could argue with me and hit every spot that hurts hard.
I've learned a lot from you and I thank you for the knowledge you've given me.
For the reality, you've slapped me hard in the face with.
For sugar-coating your words, for getting my hopes up only to let me fall alone.

I believed in you, I trusted you, I relied on you.
But it has become apparent that I can't rely on you anymore.

I'll open up my own business myself, without your support or help.
From now on, it's a one-woman show.

Dad, thank you for not believing in my capabilities.

"Arro. Mai Name Jun Hui. Spell As C-O-C-K-F-A-C-E D-U-M-B-F-U-C-K."

2010-05-26T22:44:00.005+08:00

I'm back from work, and I got to learn how to do other stuff rather than just packing stocks, but that's not what you want to read about, isn't it?

First off, I'd like to apologize for my ego's sudden escalation. I am a Grammar Nazi and I get really anal when it comes to the English Language, so whenever I get into arguments like these, one of my favorite things to do is to attack the opponent for their grammar/spelling mistakes. Why? Because I can. Also, it makes things more fun. I won't say I am a humble person by nature, that's definitely not true. At times I can be, but most of the times I'm pretty narcissistic, even though I'm usually just fooling around.

- - -

Sorry, I was too tired to reply all the tags last night so I went to bed early.

Continued from yesterday.

- - -

As I was saying, I am definitely not a humble person by nature. My ego is something I have to keep in check every now and then otherwise it'll shoot up so high it's not even funny anymore. I'd like to avoid a repeat of that. I assure you, you will never want to see me that high-and-mighty.

So I'd like to apologize for being so arrogant in my few recent posts.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not apologizing to you and your friends, Channice, I'm apologizing to my readers. Channice, I'm not done with you.

Tags Replied:
[You know if this continues, I won't consider letting things go 'cause it got boring or anything. I just might see this to the very very end. One of my life's missions is to show stupid people how stupid they really are. So Channice and Jun Hui, if you still wanna get pwned epicly, come come, let me bring you back to pre-school.]

Tesun: glad u had fun at work. i don
Tesun: -crap i hit enter again- i don't really get most of the comments, but i think its alright 2 use broken lang. however, when u want 2 make a point, i agree, do it in pure n proper english. i would like
Tesun: to say tht it is impossible for the person involved in e drama 2 take a step back n evaluate things. so don't b a smart ass n ask tht of ppl. tht is y friends exist. friends stick up 4 each other n
Tesun: also keep each other in check... sry, spammed again... whenever i tag here it goes at least 2 msgs....

In an argument, especially with a Grammar Nazi like me, it is vital not to use bastardized English and give me the opportunity to use that against you. An argument is all about making points and bringing up important factors, so an argument should be done in a language that both parties understand completely.

Well, I understand bastardized English, but I don't want to dumb down my words to make sure they understand. When I do that, I allow them to take advantage of my words and twist and turn them. I'd like to make that move first before they figure out that that's possible.

"Friends stick up for each other and also keep each other in check." *Thumbs up*

Haha it's totally cool. I appreciate and love long messages. It means they're well though-out.

Channice: Sigh. There you go judging people's English again. LADY, I use phone to update my tumblr so there's no wriggly lines ); you want you can sponsor me 120bucks to fix my laptop
Channice: I'm
Channice: Then I can learn better :D then you don't have to keep criticising my English cos I know it's tiring for you
Channice: So sorry I can't entertain you. I'm a little boring I know D: but at least you reply , you are also giving me what I want (: and that's knowledge .
Red: Channice, your second tag is incomplete. Do you want to complete that first?

Well, I only judge because you gave me the opportunity to. You tagged on my tagboard with your bastardized English, ie, broken English, you pretty much served the opportunity to me on a silver platter. That's too bad. See, even the phone can't be bothered to correct your mistakes already.

You didn't finish your second tag and I commented on that. Guess you didn't see it.

CRITICIZING is spelled with a "Z" and not a "S". It's not tiring. I like doing this. It's one of my life's missions to show stupid people how stupid they really are. So if you keep giving me the opportunity, I'll keep taking it and using it to my advantage.

Oh Channice, bestowing knowledge upon you is the very least I could do to save what's left of our very bleak future. With so many people like you, I have taken up the duty of saving you people and the younger generation and thus, saving the future. *Thumbs up*

Prefers to be anonymous 2: As much as this is amusing, here's an advice for you: It's best not to keep thinking you know a lot/much much more than other people. Yes, indeed you know more than these people here... But well,
you'll always learn something new along the way. If you think too highly of yourself, you'll fall one day. Don't let that happen to you cos if you do, there won't be anything amusing here anymore. XD

Advice taken and very seriously noted. It was because of your tag that I apologized for the skyrocketing of my ego. However, I apologize again. My ego won't settle down until this whole thing is over.

I've definitely learned something. I've learned that there can be stupid people who are beyond help, like Jun Hui. Channice, at least she's learning. I have to give her credit for that. No worries, I've taken that fall before. I don't intend on letting it happen again.

I'm glad you found this amusing and enjoyed it. :)

JunHui: Awww sorry that my english is horrendous, but well my parent was offically married then they gave birth to me :D and come on man! keigi say yes first then i ask amanda to be my flings

Well Dum Hui, then let's take a look at the urbandictionary definition of bastard, shall we?

1. A way to insult another person in a vulgar way.
2. A child born without wed parents.

1. You rotten bastard!
2. Yeh, that's just some poor bastard kid there.

- urbandictionary.com

The slang term for "Bastard" is actually very vague and can mean a ton of things. I picked this definition because that's the one I'm using on you.

~~Dum Hui, you can stop lying.~~ If she said something along the lines of, "If you wanna do it, I can't do anything to stop you." it doesn't mean she said, "Yes!" It means she's hurting inside, is disappointed in you for thinking this way, and is upset with herself for not being able to do anything about it. So in "Girl Language" the sentence "If you wanna do it, I can't do anything to stop you." means, "STOP! I don't want you to! But even if I told you this, you'll still do it, won't you... :("

- - - Update - - -

I asked Keigi if that was true.

Her reply?

Yes, I did... Oh well... I was silly that time... I gave in to him too much that he takes it that I'm too easy to bully. I said to him, "As long as you're happy, you want it then go ahead and find one..." But I don't like it at all... ._.

I know how you feel. No girl like to share their boyfriends with other girls.

Sigh... Who would want their boyfriends to go find flings... I was testing him at the same time to see if he would at least think that I won't like it...

When he said he was thinking of finding flings, I was already feeling very moody... As I lost my hp that time, it's like he got bored 'cause I'm not very active online either 'cause my Aunt's place doesn't have a com... But now I'm staying at my own house already... I got the freedom now, unlike the time when I was with him.

Forget him. He's just another cockface bastard.

Bonus message:
Hahas.. Everyone say he this type of face also got so many ex. It's like laughing like nobody's business.

*I corrected the messages' grammar for the reader's convenience.*
- - - End Update - - -

Which proves my point further.

You need to learn more about Girls if you wanna be a "hongster". Girls aren't just toys to kiss, hug, fuck and throw. We're a far more complex species than that. With the exception of Amanda. Her, I don't know.

But let me just ask you one thing. So right now, you just treat Amanda as a FLING and nothing more? I'd like an honest reply for this.

JunHui: but after keigi say no then i cut off the flings relationship with her~ so sorry that you need to read my horrendous english~ but well glad that you can read it well~ :D

Bullshit. May 1st, you asked Amanda to be your fling. May 2nd, you broke up with Keigi. You suck at lying.

Of course I can read it well. I'm well-versed in both the Arts of The English & Bastardized English Language. If I wasn't, I won't be entitled the right to insult your English.

JunHui: awww im a stupid huh? so you`re talking to a stupid so aren`t you stupid too? HAHA

Dum Hui, talking to a stupid person and conversing with him doesn't mean I'm stupid. It means I'm nice enough to explain myself clearly to you and prove that you're a complete and utter idiot even further.

christina: junhui- how does talking to a stupid person makes you stupid?

Tell me about it man. He just doesn't get it.

Good Anon: Firstly, let us make clear the fact that talking to stupid people doesn't make you stupid, it simply acknowledges the fact that stupid people like you, Jun Hui, actually exist. Secondly, your insults
Good Anon: To put it in a way you'll understand, suck. Thirdly, if personal attacks on intelligence are all you have, quite frankly, you've just proved us a point. You're not all that intelligent.
Good Anon: Scratch that. You're simply unintelligible.

Thank you, you just explained everything I wanted to say about him.

Dum Hui, another English lesson for you

un·in·tel·li·gent

–adjective
1.
deficient in intelligence; dull; stupid.
2.
not endowed with intelligence.

—Related forms
un·in·tel·li·gence, noun
un·in·tel·li·gent·ly, adverb

—Can be confused: unintelligent, unintelligible.

un·in·tel·li·gi·ble

–adjective
not intelligible; not capable of being understood.

—Related forms
un·in·tel·li·gi·bil·i·ty, un·in·tel·li·gi·ble·ness, noun
un·in·tel·li·gi·bly, adverb

—Can be confused: unintelligent, unintelligible.

—Synonyms
incomprehensible, baffling, undecipherable.

-dictionary.com

JunHui: You know that person is stupid but you keep on replying to its question when you know he will keep on argue with you so isn`t it stupid?

Not exactly. A lot of us actually have a brain that we use so it can get really stressful sometimes and most of them don't have the time to entertain your shenanigans like I can. So from time to time, it's good to laugh at people's stupidity. Why? Because they can. They use their brains, and in this condescending world, everyone who uses their brains has a right to discriminate against people who choose not to use their brains.

And you're not even arguing. Up till now, you have made no valid points that I can actually acknowledge or even say, "Touché". So you're not arguing, you're just rambling on and on and on about nothing.

Your retorts are equivalent to that of saying, "No, you!" and our response is, "No, my boy, it is you. Why, you ask? Because..." So now it's a battle between who can say, "No, you!" "Nuh-uh, you!" longer than the other.

JunHui: By the way im not intelligent at all~~ :D

Dum Hui, there is not a reason for you to be sarcastic when the statement itself is already true.
You fail.

Rei: "JunHui: By the way im not intelligent at all~~ :D"
Rei: Truest thing you've said on this tagboard. Now will you please go away? It will be much appreciated.

It's alright if they don't go away. I want to see how long he can last. Channice is already breaking down and her tags are coming to a stop. I want to see how long an idiot can last at this game.

Good Anon: You know JunHui, sometimes I think you type just to make letters and words appear.

I like this sentence very very much. *Two Thumbs Up* It made me laugh out really loud and completely made my day. I would very very much like to know who you are. If I know you, I'd like to give you a good ol' brotherly high five. If I don't know you, an Internet High five is fine too.

HAHA: JAS AWESOME!!!! eng pwned them

Thank you~ :D

Tesun: honestly, who actually said that they were an absolute genius? Firstly, I acknowledge that there are people in this universe, hell in this country smarter than all of us put together. that doesn't
Tesun: mean that I would disregard their intellect when the time comes n humilliate myself. 2ndly, yes tht comment wasn't directed at me, but hey, i also luv the limelight~ NOT. 3rdly, conversing with idiots
Tesun: doesn't make one stupid. it only is a kindness to the idiot to make him feel involved with the world. ^^ if the said idiot is unable to comprehend that then by all means reply on the board~

Ahahaha, Tesun, you're another one that just made my day too. "It only is a kindness to the idiot to make him feel involved with the world. ^^" Gosh I love you people.

Heidi: Lol, I can't help laughing !

This is waaay too freaking amusing.

CHANNICE: Oh ye, you say slut means prostitute right? Prostitutes sell their bodies right. In what way did I sell my body, bitch? And in what way am I dirty? Any evidence?

Channice, now let us take a look at the urbandictionary of the slang term of "SLUT"/

SLUT:

A derogatory term.

Refers to a sexually promiscuous person, usually female.

One who engages in sexual activity with a large number of persons, occasionally simultaneously.

"That slut has slept with every man in this room!"
"That slut is easy like Sunday morning."

Also refers to one who engages in sexual activity outside of a long-term relationship within the duration of said relationship.
"That girl is such a slut--I can't believe that she cheated on her boyfriend with his best friend!"

These sexual activities include but are not limited to: passionate kissing, manual stimulation of genitalia and/or breasts in the case of a female; oral stimulation of these parts; sexual intercourse.

In some cases, used to refer to a woman who is wearing "skimpy" or tasteless clothing.
"Look at that slut in her mini-skirt! She is not wearing any underwear!"

Less commonly, used as a derogatory term by one female for another during periods of conflict.
"I don't want to talk to her! I hate that slut!"

Synonyms: whore, tramp. Derivations: slutty (adj.), sluttier/sluttiest (superlatives). Related Adjectives: easy; immoral; loose; cheap.

- urbandictionary.com

Hmmm. I learned something new today. I realized I used the term "Slut", for lack of a better word to use.

I'd like to ask a question to everyone reading this right now, and I hope that you can leave a comment in the tagboard answering this question. You don't have to tag with your name, staying anonymous is fine too.

Question: What do you call a girl who openly flirts with a guy who already has a girlfriend?

I do hope that you all will reply. Don't think of that girl as Channice and that guy as Jun Hui, think of the girl as some random blonde girl and the guy some random guy, then look at the situation from the 3rd person point of view. That way, you're not judging the both of them but just merely answering my question.

I personally think, "slut" is a very appropriate word, don't you think?

Well, I've finished replying the tags and there hasn't been any blog updates or facebook updates. This drama is pretty much coming to an end soon, depending on how both Channice and Dum Hui choose to reply.

I'm going out to catch up with Heidi now.

See you guys later.

"Arro. Mai Name Channice. U Spell As D-U-M-B-F-U-C-K." Part 2

2010-05-25T23:05:00.011+08:00

Sup. I just came back from work and really, terribly sorry I wasn't able to reply all the tags I got yesterday. I was on the phone with Love till 2 and I didn't want to multi-task. It's either I concentrate on this or I concentrate on Love. And I was freaking tired yesterday too. First day of work and I'm already packing stocks. But it's kinda fun though.

Anyway, I'm actually pretty shocked that both Love and Tesun joined in the fun. I always kinda thought you guys would think these kind of things are immature and stuff. I'm glad you guys enjoyed their stupidity as much as I did.

To be honest, I didn't want to reply all these anymore. It's boring. It's not really fun when you win way too easily. There's no challenge at all. But, I don't know, I'll still reply you guys, 'cause well, it's my style and I think it's proper etiquette to at the very least acknowledge your opponents, even though y'all aren't opponents at all considering how stupid y'all are. It's freaking mental slaughter over here. That's just how easy it is.

Tags Replied:

JunHui: OMG so scare bitch/slut are calling other girls bitch and slut LOL Well i do have parents and they are still alive :D so yeah im not a bastard, you don`t know what bastard mean eh?

Jun Hui, your English is amazingly horrendous. As I've said a thousand times before, I don't go around fucking random guys, I don't steal people's boyfriends, I'm not promiscuous, ergo, I'm not a slut. And Jun Hui, the real meaning of Bastard is this:

A child whose birth lacks legal legitimacy—that is, one born to a woman and a man who are not legally married to one another.
- Wikipeida

It has absolutely nothing to do with your parents being alive or not. Apparently, it is you that doesn't know the real meaning of Bastard.

Self-pwn.

JunHui: you ain`t using your brain well :D so well what do you want? rip us apart? HAHA By the way i did ask for keigi consent to find flings and when she no after that i stop finding already :D

Sigh, Jun Hui, you're not using your brain. I just ripped apart all the comments to bits in the other post. That's what I meant. You really need to think outside of the box, y'know? Not everything's as it seems. Especially the English Language.

She said no and you stopped finding? Then what's with asking Amanda to be your fling before you broke up with Keigi? In addition to being really dumb, you suck at lying.

JunHui: If you`re going to use that as My-side-story~ then you are so wrong~~~ and wow are you so scare that you stalked me on facebook by the way thanks for the ads :D

If I'm wrong, then explain yourself. It's as easy as that. Are you trying to say, "And wow, are you so SCARED that you stalked me on facebook?" Sigh, Jun Hui, too much ego will kill your already very little, very limited, very small, talent. Please don't think that you're some bigshot or something.

1. You're another dumb fuckface. I don't stalk fuckfaces.
2. I posted something mean, of course I'd be curious to your reply. It's human nature.
3. Dum Hui, I have an average of 30 readers a day. Now, 30 people knows that you're stupid.

Rei: Your inane routines of 'no, you!' ad nauseum really aren't helping your case, you brainless asshats. It's not an argument, it's just contradiction.
Rei: Learn to make claims and counterclaims, or just SHUT the FUCK up before you pop a neuron trying.

Words can barely describe how awesome these comments are. It's a pity your words are wasted on dumbfucks that don't understand what you're saying. But awesomesauce nonetheless.

JunHui: ohhhh are u angry? she said so much things about me~ yet im not angry~ so why are you angry? what if i don`t SHUT the FUCK up? HAHA

Dum hui, he just insulted you in English you'll never comprehend in 5 entire lifetimes. I knew you were dumb, but man, you can't even differentiate people being angry and being bored and insulting? If people were angry, they would type in caps, like example: "JUN HUI YOU MOTHERFUCKER, I WAN FUCKING SLAUGHTER YOUR FUCKING CB FAMILY YOU DUMBFUCK." In this case, my boy was nice enough to caps the words, just in case, like Channice, you're blind too.

Sigh. I really worry about the future generation. Dum Hui, please, do the world a favor, don't breed.

JunHui: Kindly ask her or teach her whats the meaning of bitch and slut :D
JunHui: opps typo again. ask her to find out wats the meaning of bitch and slut

SIGH. I cannot believe that you are that dumb. I already said in my post before that I acknowledge being a bitch.

Slut:
1. a dirty, slovenly woman.
2. an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.

- dictionary.reference.com

Tell me, do I sound anything like this? If you say yes, just because I single-handedly shot down the whole lot of you, then, you're really beyond hope. Even the best brain surgeons in the world don't have a cure for stupidity.

I don't really care if you don't shut the fuck up or not. I mean, you're the one wasting your time and just proving you're stupid to everyone reading this. By all means, go ahead.

Rei: Quite the contrary, I'm not angry at all. I'm just bored. I very much invite you not to shut the fuck up, go ahead and fuel my entertainment, I'll just have to apologise for flooding the cbox later.

They can't help it really. Stupd people just keep yapping on and on and on and on. They don't have the "sit down, shut up" function.

Tesun: wow! tht's a lot of crappy spam... Might as well apologise now since i prob will b spamming ur tagboard too. First off the bat: A DISCLAIMER: I don't know any of you, I don't particularly care about r
Tesun: ipping anyone to shreds and yes, you are an idiot if you try to get back at me for writing whatever comes next. well, that's done. Next up, pls beat each other up, scratch out people's eyes BUT leave
Tesun: innocent people out. this includes parents and friends. You can attack ANYONE who chooses to join or watch this epic drama unfold, but no one else. oh i'm actually 20 since we are talking about ages.
Tesun: Regarding justice. Justice is weird. you know, who's to say what's right and wrong except urself. but of course, when some1 says something tht is factually correct and throws in their own opinions, is
Tesun: n't that their form of justice? kiddies, i had fun now. i'm not particularly fond of taunting ppl, but THIS was really AMUSING~ so pat ur own head for amusing me~~

I particularly love, "Regarding justice. Justice is weird. you know, who's to say what's right and wrong except urself. but of course, when some1 says something tht is factually correct and throws in their own opinions, isn't that their form of justice?"

That is one of the truest things I've heard in this stupid drama. I'm glad you had fun too!

HI-THERE: Hahaha actually, my name is indeed hither. I actually find amusement in 16 year olds like you. Who go around thinking they're so mature with their big words and slanders of slut and bitch.
HI-THERE: Yet you proclaim you're proud to be a 16 year old. Well, its either you have bipolar/mutliple personality disorder, or you're just a very confused kid trying to act mature.

I swear, I saw "hitler". Hah, kids nowadays. They think they're bigshots and everyone is EFFING PEED-IN-THEIR-PANTS SCARED of them. *Rolls eyes* She obviously is the latter. I study psychology and I'm not kidding but the kids here actually thinks it's cool and different to have "disorders". They don't have it but they like to believe they do just to be cool. Tsk tsk tsk.

JunHui: so aren`t you all are fuel our entertainments too? HAHA thanks :D

Well, no problem. We both entertain each other. However, there's one small difference. We're more entertaining and we can be neverending. You bore me.

@JunHui: Your english is fantastic man.

I know man, tell me about it. I can't believe it. 16 year olds already and their English still suck small cheena cocks.

Rei: If you choose to see it that way, sure! We can enjoy watching you flail and poke you every once in a while, and if you like, you can enjoy making an arse of yourself. Everybody wins!
Rei: Great comeback by the way. "No, you!"

Hahaha, well, you already know what I think of your comments so I don't really have much to say now. But still, AWESOMESAUCE. *Thumbs up*

Tesun: hmm, really? do you really want me to post in my most sickeningly formal manner? get real, I've done A level GP, I can rout you any time I want.
Tesun: Oh hi DK! didn't think u would join
Rei: Hey, Tes. Ahaha, yes, well, I suppose I'm just bored. It's always amusing to watch lesser beings trip over themselves trying to be clever, and sometimes you just wanna join in the fun, y'know?

I love how you said, "Get real, I've done A level GP, I can rout you any time I want." And neither did I think the both of you would join. Hoped the both of you guys had your fun. Now you guys know why I like drama like these.

Heidi: Wow, Jas YOU ARE ONE WITTY BABE! ❤

Thank you, darling. ❤

big bird: ehh here got so many slut isit give u all 5 peso suck my hotdog maybe u all happy :)
faith chanling: ok i want hotdog i want hotdog big and tasty
faith chanling: http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs470.snc3/25786_1389258085630_1057426071_31174596_4759989_n.jpg
faith chanling: this is meeee u can shoot everywhere

Haha, cute tag. Not very effective, but amusing nevertheless. And I swear I puked a little in my mouth when I saw that picture.

Channice, you have one fuck of a face. Stop trying to act like a model.

CHANNICE: hahahahahaha , WTF . MY NAME CHANNLING SIAL . IDONT KNOW SOME FUCKER CAN COPY MY NAME WRONGLY
CHANNICE: you like to rip things to pieces right . Ey , i wanna meet you out
CHANNICE: you seriously talk no link also . did i OFFEND you th FIRST TIME I KNOW YOU ?

Yes, I do like to rip things to pieces. I don't mind meeting up with you. I don't mind really. I challenge you to slap me, I challenge you to whack me. Punch me, kick me, beat me up. I won't retaliate but I will sue you and when I do, the 2 FAKE PIECES OF PAPERS will come to light. The more you do this ridiculous nonsense, the closer I am to revealing that the papers are fake. I will go around telling certain people that they were lied to and your wife will get into trouble. Don't care about your future? At least care about hers. More and more people are starting to know I've forged something for her.

Even Keigi knows now.

It's not that I "talk no link", you just didn't get what I meant. Well, I didn't really expect you to. You have a brain the size of a peanut.

Rei: That's brilliant, Faith Seraph Natsume Channice Channling Sial. Pity no one can understand you with your mouthful of cock and all. Could you explain what meeting someone out means?

Sigh. I worry for the future generations. Our gene pool is already in-shit condition and these kids are making it worse.

CHANNICE: OH , i realise i shouldnt be bothered right . im dirtying my money and hands and eyes here . mmm , i should leave you alone to bitch around .

What, giving up so soon already? You're really boring. :( Also, mind you, you were the one who blew up this drama.

Rei: Excellent, bugger off then. Nobody wanted you here in the first place. Your atrocious excuse for coherent argument and blasphemous mangling of the English language is just a bloody eyesore anyway.
Rei: Rood giddance, you shining little wit.

Baby, thanks for standing up for me. I apple you.

Prefers to be anonymous: Chill, woh... I think everyone needs to chill down and reflect and ponder on things. Take a 3rd person view of yourself, like watching a movie, so that you can judge yourself properly.(If you want to)

Taking a 3rd person point of view on oneself, right now, is actually pretty hard considering how it is still in the heat of the moment.

If I were to judge myself though, I'd still think I pwned them all single-handedly. I was harsh, I was mean, sarcastic and merciless. And I like the way I reacted to the situation.

Hope you enjoyed the free show yourself too.

au au: want meet where? not happy come out talk. U set time i set place or u set place I set time how ?? or u want us go your house find u

If I were to meet her, that is if she still wants to, I'll only get beaten up and slapped and stuff. When that happens, do you wanna come along and be my witness?

Shan: au au: Aiyo. She alr said she shouldn't be bothered. So we won't tag anything here. Happy blogging your own ways. :)

Ending it so soon? Damn, you guys are boring. I was looking forward to suing her. :(

You say she shouldn't be bothered. So why all the blog posts?

Moving on to blogs.

If you don't care about what I think of you, why do you still read my blog? More than 4 times even.

Firstly, I am judgmental. Never once said I wasn't. Never once denied I wasn't. I'm a two-face, judgmental, hypocrite. I tell people not to judge me 'cause they don't know me, but I judge them all the same. And you spell JUDGMENTAL without an "e". The small red squiggly lines at the bottom of every word you type is the computer's gentle reminder that you're a complete retard.

Secondly, I think it's rather stupid, in general, when people categorize things into, "Evil" and "Good". That's so Christian. And I hate them. Most of them are blind idiots, including you. You can learn, you can try, but you'll never be as good as the original.

Thirdly, hello, I already acknowledge I was ugly on the inside. For someone to say that they're sick, sadistic, twisted and all that is pretty much acknowledging that they're not perfect and they don't try to be.

And wow. You know Channice, it's because I'm MIXED with Spanish American ie Latino blood, Filipino blood, and Chinese blood, that's why I'm attractive. It's because I'm MIXED that I got this face that you once respected. If I was purely Chinese like you, I swear I might ended up having a fuckface like yours too so I'm really glad I'm MIXED. And being mixed doesn't mean I suck at Asian languages like Mandrin. In Kindergarten, I already decided that I really can't be bothered with it.

いとくけど、私と渡り合うなんて百年はやい。

Meaning:
Let me say this clearly, you're 100 years too young and inexperienced to even argue with someone of my caliber.

Wow, stalker much?

I had to repeat certain points 'cause I just knew you won't get it. Unlike yours I actually have a reason for repeating them. My whole entire intention was just to prove how stupid you are. You on the other hand, repeat the same thing over an over again. And you don't even have an intention like mine. Tsk tsk tsk.

It's not about using big words or really profound English, but rather, you lack in even communicating with the most basic of English. Basic grammar, basic spelling, basic sentence structure, you failed them all epicly.

You wanna argue with me, you argue in complete proper sentences.

News flash. I come from a neighborhood school too. One worse off than yours. You study in Deyi, I studied in Serangoon Garden. The PSLE cut-off points are quite different, don'cha know. My parents paid the same amount as your parents do for your studies. And yet the difference in our level is so dramatically drastic. Why? 'Cause you're just dumb. Nothing to do with studying in good schools or not. So, your point on not receiving good education is invalid. The education I got is worse. I don't even have the option of Literature, Pure History, Pure Biology in my school. So don't bitch about education. But at least the people there are nicer and less problematic.

I'm from a school worse-off and yet I'm better than you.

Girl, I learn faster than you. I'm only 16, younger than you by birth dates, and I know more shit than you will ever learn by the time you're 70. Learn one-tenth of the things I already know and understand completely then we'll talk about me not learning anything. And I told you, I research before I bitch. I LEARN & UNDERSTAND before I speak. With the exception of Dum Hui. He's just too stupid for me to even bother.

I already acknowledged that I'm judgmental. Moving on.

I judged you 'cause Amanda was my bestfriend. When you're bestfriends with someone, their enemy automatically becomes yours. It's human nature. I agree, I won't like the feeling and I would do exactly what you did, only in proper complete sentences. It's normal to do that. But your reaction was just ridiculous. You know what I can tell from the way you reacted to my post? You care about yourself more than you do Amanda.

If I was in your shoes, I would want to beat you up like the little bitch you are. But more than that, I would want to fucking disfigure your face and mutilate your genitals for slamming my bestfriend. That's the difference between you and me. I'm judgmental, I'm sick, but I also love my close ones more than anything and will do just about anything for them. Even throwing away my future. I laid my future down on the line when I did what I did for Amanda.

This is something a lonely fucker like you will never understand. Ever.

Also, the "Lady Red" thing is so long ago. I wanted to be a Lady 'cause Alphonso likes elegant girls. I'm with Rei now, he accepts me for my sick, twisted self, occasionally encourages me, and loves it. So there. Your points have now all been proven invalid.

Go post whatever you have to say again. I won't reply it this time unless you come up with something interesting. You bore me.

You can forget about that. Only I am nice enough and have the time to reply you. They're not like me, they're mature and they know when to stop caring. Also, don't think of yourself as another bigshot. You're not important enough to be featured on their facebooks and blogs.

Pig friends dog buddies eh? I never called your friends any names and you called mine "Pig friends dog buddies"? How cowardly can you be? You ran out of things to taunt me with so you try to provoke me by insulting my friends? Nice. Perfect example of cowardice, being petty and stupidity, right there. I won't say anything about it though.

'Cause my friends are all mentally matured enough to understand your pathetic tricks and neither do they lack the brain capacity to actually respond and succumb to your idiotic tricks.

Channice, did you know, by calling me judgmental, you just judged me. Doesn't that make you judgmental as well?

Well, rumors and gossips are what keeps everyone connected. If you don't like being talked about and condemned, why give them something to talk about in the first place? If you give nothing, they'll have no story to tell. If they have no story to tell, there will be no judge.

Think a little will you? After that long post, you still refuse to use your brains.

Channice, don't think that our argument skills are on par and that you're my match. You are absolutely unworthy of even tagging in my tagboard and having an opinion about the things I've said. You're only worthy of kissing my feet.

Thanks, you just inflated my ego. You know how long it took me to keep it in check? Sigh.

I'm tired, I got work tomorrow.

Bye.

"Arro. Mai Name Channice. U Spell As D-U-M-B-F-U-C-K."

2010-05-23T23:13:00.010+08:00

I laugh at your pathetic attempts to make me cower in fear before your pathetic selves.

No seriously, Channice, you don't know me, but here's a little funfact for you: I do my research before I state my claims. So I know what I'm talking about when I bitch. I have a brain, sweetie, I use them. You have one too, you should start using them. They're starting to go bad already.

So I'm back from Love's and just a few hours ago, I saw that my tagboard was spammed, my blog url advertised on another girl's blog, followed by facebook status updates from the sluts and playboy themselves. With terrible English to boot. I knew that I would get spammed after all that long post [I mean c'mon who wouldn't wanna kick my ass for writing something like that right?] and initially, I was reluctant to view my blog 'cause:

1) Getting hated on isn't exactly the best feeling in the world
2) I was with Rei and if I were to view my blog, I'd be too busy thinking of comebacks and retorts instead of spending time with him.

But I'm glad I satisfied my curiosity. I never would've guessed that people had my back. And that's not even counting the people who just read my post, liked it but never commented. This discovery alone, made me very happy for the entire evening. I'm very very happy to know that people do have my back, even though you guys choose to remain anonymous.

Anyway, moving on to my favorite part of the whole segment, the "Rip & Shred", also known as bitchposting.

First, I'll reply everyone's tags:

equuleuscia: finally a post red. but i suggest not bothering to care for low lifes. time is too precious to be wasted girl

I know man. It's been so long. Low lifes aren't important but I would say some are pretty amusing. Especially Channice. It's good to, you know, take a break from your busy life, every once in a while and just have a good laugh at stupid people.

CHANNICE: OHGOD , th game isnt over yet and you said we got pwnt ? LOL . So th ME is you ar? At least we use FAKENAMES better than some retarded person calling themselves 'ME' -_-

Hi, slut. Please open your eyes bigger. I meant you got pwned at the whole "nameless stray dog who's too ashamed of their own name" thing. I never said the game was over, I did write, "This is to be updated." at the very end. Are you, in addition to being blind, uneducated in the simple language called English?

Using FAKENAMES huh. Doesn't that still apply at you being "nameless stray dogs who are too ashamed of their own names?" "Natsume"? Seriously? Are you trying to act cute? 'Cause you're failing epicly and it's rather disgusting to watch. Also, I had to tag as "Me" 'cause I wasn't done with my research. If I was wrong with my claims, which I wasn't, I would've just left it as that and not proceeded with this blogpost. However, I was right with my accusations, so I tagged with my real name, and here I am.

CHANNICE: Slut somemore only lahor. Who do you think you are? LOL .

You first sentence makes no sense. Are calling me a slut? If you are, then, my dear, please go to the freaking bookstore, buy a shitload of English dictionaries and look up the meaning of "SLUT" in everyone single one of them. Or you could just go to dictionary.com and look up the meaning. You can even look up the slang meaning in urbandictionary.com.

Who do I think I am? I think I am a person who speaks her mind freely and I don't really care if I get in trouble or get hated on for it. If I don't like you, if I disagree with your actions, I will tell you directly. I don't hide who I am.

I did explain to Amanda that I am disagreeable with her actions, but in your case, you weren't particularly important and back then I thought I would never keep in contact with you again so I didn't tell you. So instead, I took this chance to tell you and everyone what a disgusting person you are. It's killing three bird with one stone. See:

1) I get to inform everyone reading this blog, how slutty the both of you are
2) You get to know what I really think of you
3) It makes the situation much clearer when I explain it with you inside.

CHANNICE: Tell keigi not to tell us about th 'mastermind' and yet you yourself wanna post this .

News flash, I never told Keigi not to tell you who the "mastermind" was. She chose not to on her own accord 'cause she didn't want to get me into trouble, which is actually pretty nice of her. You tell me to get my facts right, why don't you start doing to same, hypocrite.

Would you like me to explain the meaning of that word? 'Cause it seems like you don't understand yourself at all.

A hypocrite is someone that says one thing, but does the opposite. Example, you call people sluts, and yet you act like one yourself. See, short and sweet ain't it? I wanted to copy and paste dictionary.com's meaning of hypocrite, but I was worried that your brain was too stupid to comprehend it.

CHANNICE: Be more open next time uh ! dont need hide in that shell .

Like I said, Keigi was just being nice and protecting me. If I were hiding in a shell, would I have posted all these? I'm curious. What exactly is your brain made up of? Promiscuous, bitchy behaviors and rampant lustful desires? Please consult a doctor, or a psychiatrist, immediately.

CHANNICE: Kindly get facts right again . you only listen to keigi's side of th story and not junhui's

I already know Jun Hui's side of the story. I know how much of a pain he really thinks Keigi is, I know how he thinks she's childish and often wishes to be with someone more mature. If this isn't the full story, then kindly explain it to me clearly. 'Cause honestly, I don't think these excuses are enough to break off with a girl and go fling a slut. I think Jun Hui is a bastard, 'cause well, he asked Keigi himself if it was fine to find flings. Being in an Open Relationship is one thing when BOTH parties consent to it, but asking your own partner if it was fine to fool around with other people? That's just downright rude.

What would you feel if your boyfriend did the same to you, and you don't consent on being in an Open Relationship with him?

BTW, funfact: An Open Relationship is when both parties go out and fool around with other people, inclusive of sexual activities, as long as there is no love involved, and both parties trust each other enough not to fall for someone else.

Anonymous: Respect man!
Anonymous: Love your posts. (;

Aww, thank you! That means a lot to me, that you actually bother to let me know that you like my posts. :)

Tesun: -.-" I won't judge, i don't know anyone that well... seems tho this was really killing you. Sry, i didn't know u n dk fought over the pit thing. in tht sense it would definitely haf been weird. names
Tesun: r just names. all they do is identify an entity, it doesn't mean tht they r permanent. sure, keeping ur given name is a form of respect to ur parents, but don't feel hindered by names.

It bothers me now, that a stupid thing like the pit made me argue with Rei. But we did get something good out of it in the end. Heheh, we got to kiss in the rain like a romantic ending of a dramatic movie. It disgusted and pained me to see Amanda act that way. I knew she's been like this for 4 years and counting already but recently her actions just got even worse.

I agree, names are just names. However, they like to emphasize on names being very important because they want to know who exactly the person is just so they can find trouble with that person. Names definitely aren't permanent. I'm adding Red to mine as soon as I turn 21. And I couldn't agree more with your comment. *Thumbs up*

CHANNICE: Auntie ah . i just saw you calling me slut . im here to tell you FUCKYOU in your face . (: i never step your tail since th first day we met and you had to call me slut .

Ahma ah, you just told me "FUCKYOU" in my tagboard, ahma. Senile already? In such a short time you forget you're not talking to me face to face but in my tagboard? The phrase to "say something in someone's face" means that you actually walk up to that person and say it to their face.

Ahaha, I can't stop laughing at your comment and my clever wit.

True, you never "stepped on my tail" but I don't know, I just don't agree with your ways. You became "bestfriends" with Jun Hui 'cause you initially were interested in him. And you flirt with him on facebook etc, even when he has a girlfriend already. You can deny my claims as much as you want, but you can't deny the truth in your heart.

CHANNICE: DO YOU HAVE TH MOTHER FUCKING EVIDENCE THAT I OPENLY FLIRTED WITH MY OWN BESTFRIEND?

Like duh. If I didn't, would I state so? I may be many things, but a liar ain't one of them.

CHANNICE: first day i see you i respect you cos you'
CHANNICE: cos you're very pretty
CHANNICE: now i FUCKING HATE YOU cos you hated me for no fucking reason and fucking called me a slut when i fucking respected you
CHANNICE: pfft . pretty girl on th outside , fucking fucking fucking ugly on th inside .
CHANNICE: TOTALLY DISGUSTING .

First day I saw you, I thought you were annoying. Here's a little quote my boyfriend came up with.

Courtesy should be a given, but Respect must be earned.
- Kurohi Rei

You give respect like that just 'cause you think I look attractive? That's rather shallow, don't you think? I do not need nor want respect given like that. You want something to respect, respect me for who I am and not what I look like. You say I'm disgusting, but I find you absolutely revolting. Respect is something I hold in high regard. For you to come and say that you "respect me 'cause I'm pretty", I don't take that as a compliment, but as an insult.

I never once said I hated you, I only expressed my disapproval of your actions. Hate is a very strong word, something that I do not like to throw about non-chalantly, and I loathe people who do. And you "FUCKING HATE" me now just because of one statement out of the whole entire post that involved me expressing my disapproval directly at you?

[Faith is another slut who likes Luffy too. And she openly flirted with him while he was still together with Keigi.]

You "FUCKING HATE" me just because of this one statement? I find it incredibly funny that my whole post, majority of it was about Amanda and only a good 1% of it was about you, and you blow up in my tagboard acting like the other 99% of the post is about you? If anyone should be blowing up at this, it should be Amanda and not you. You even went through the trouble of publicizing my blog on your tumblr just 'cause of this one statement? Wow.

I won't deny that. I have two faces and neither of them are exceptionally beautiful. I won't deny, I'm twisted, sadistic, and sick inside. But that's who I am. Wanna respect me for something? Respect me for my courage to accept my twisted self. While you're at it, you can respect me for my wit, and my audacity to blackmail my ex-bestfriend and post all of these.

HI-THERE: Hey there channice/faith/whatever your name is, you say you fucking hate people because they hate you for no reason, well I'm here to give you a reality check. Look at your own tumblr
HI-THERE: and see the number of people you slander. People who you don't even know. If there's a term I could use on you, i'd be hypocrite. Grow up and get a life.

Hi, I don't think I know you but you're amazing. Now this is something I'd give respect to, Channice. The person doesn't even know me, I don't even know that person and s/he's here, stating the truths.

CHANNICE: Do you have a name? Dont dare put? -.- please uh? What do you mean by i slander people? And who on earth are you to tell me all these? I growup? Im still 16 and i love being childish.
CHANNICE: did your parents give you a name call : Hi-There? LOL . Pity your parents.

Aw, leave the person alone. It's about you and me isn't it? That's what all this is about. It's not even about Amanda and I or how I disapprove of her actions and her relationship with Jun Hui, it's about me and you and that one little statement. Really, how petty can you get? The one that should be angry, the one that should be screaming MOTHERFUCK at me isn't you, but Amanda. So why are you here? You're making things worse than they already are and if that's what you want, be my guest. I feed off of this kind of drama, that's the kind of twisted person I am.

I don't exactly know what you did before, nor do I really care, but everyone is entitled to an opinion. You're not exactly being childish, I would say more of petty. Seriously, it was only 1 statement! You need to see a shrink.

Oh, don't laugh. There are parents who give their kids names like "@" and "Batman bin Suparman". Not kidding, Google it. I think you must hate your name a lot, Channice. "Faith Seraph Natsume". Wow. Now that's what I call someone who's really unsatisfied with their real name. Shit, my only other name is Red, that I stick to faithfully.

Passerby2: HAHAHAHAHA LMAO ROFL!!! HITHERE IS UR NAME HAHAHAHA

You're amusing. Is Passerby2 your name too?

Norch: which ever bitches that just scolded faith a slut, why not u go get urself fuck by the dogs before saying other. bloody bitch.
passerby: pot calling the kettle black? some SLUT is calling channice a slut when she herself is a SLUT! FUCKING HELL! go get a fuking mirror and look into it b4 calling others slut.

Norch, tagging with two names, doesn't exactly show that you're 2 different people unless you're 2 people tagging from the same com. Either way, it still shows that neither of you are bright.

1) Getting fucked by dogs has absolutely no link with calling other people a slut. That's like saying, "For more information go fuck a buffalo."
2) Wrong use of the phrase "Pot calling the kettle black". I'm a blender, not a pot. You call me a slut, do you know the meaning of "Slut"? Like I said to Channice, you might want to head down to the bookstore and you know, buy one, two or maybe ten thousand English dictionaries and read the definition of "Slut" in all of them.

Fact 1: I don't go around sleeping with random guys.
Fact 2: I don't flirt with guys who have girlfriends.
Fact 3: I don't go around looking for flings when I already am in a relationship.

And how exactly does looking in a mirror constitute to me being or not being a slut? That's epic no link. I am not a slut, by definition of the dictionary, a bitch yea, but not a slut. So to ask me to look in the mirror, all I see is, who I am.

Shan: Aiyo. Seriously.. Jasmine Red.. Look at yourself in the mirror. You're not the 1st keyboard warrior I've seen. So I'm quite used to it. Oh ya. You called Channice a slut? What about you?
Shan: Oh ya.. Keyboard warriors only hide infront of the comp & scold people. You got no life at all. o_O" Grow up kid. Be mature. No one will respect you, if you continue to backstab people.
Shan: Also, you don't understand them well. You can anyhow talk bad about them. But you're the one being jealous. You make a blog to make problems big or you making a blog to post your daily lifestyle?
Shan: Please THINK! That's all I have to say. =)

Like I said to Norch/passerby above, asking me to look at myself in the mirror doesn't do anything because by definition of the dictionary, I am not a slut. I don't understand at all how you seeing many keyboard warriors and getting used to them helps in the current situation. Like I said for the I-don't-know-how-many-times already, I am not a slut. A bitch, yes, but a slut, no. Did everyone fail their English or something? Seriously.

My intention was not to "hide in front of the comp & scold people", my intention was to purely let of steam and to publicly humiliate these 2 girls. So your stereotype is incorrect. I've seen many many many people like you, using my words against me, though most of the time inaccurately, asking me to grow up, asking me to have a life, asking me to be mature.

1) The whole "using my words against me" is extremely old and just boring. Come up with something new and more creative please. You people have brains for a reason.
2) To ask me to grow up now would be rather difficult. My body likes to kinda grow at it's own pace, y'know? And I wanna enjoy being a teenager before growing up to be an adult. Don't you want to enjoy life too? Being an adult is stressful you know?
3) Obviously, I do have a life. If I didn't, would I still be breathing here right now? I have wonderful friends, a very loving boyfriend, and life is just peachy. :)
4) You ask me to be mature, and yet, you and all the other taggers here are the ones being immature. Seriously, it was just ONE statement. Amanda should be the one that wants my head, not you guys. What on earth is wrong with you people. You all need help. Or better English teachers. Or better brains 'cause all of them seem like their dying from lack of oxygen and usage.

Like my boyfriend said, "Courtesy should be a given, Respect should be earned." I don't know you, I don't need your shallow respect. The only respect that I value are the people who respect me for the things I do in my life. And the only person I backstabbed is Amanda. Jesus, you guys need to chill out. It's 1, one, ONE statement. My whole post, like I said, was dedicated to Amanda. Not Channice.

True, I don't understand them well, but according to what Amanda has said before about Channice, I can't say I'd want to get to know her. According to Amanda, Channice sounded like a whiny, annoying little bitch, who steals friends and guys from her, and cry mother, cry father at the smallest of things. I don't really want to get to know a person like that nor am I interested in getting to know Jun Hui. I'm not particularly jealous of them, much less Channice. Now, why would I want to be jealous of a fuckface like her? And Amanda's and Jun Hui's relationship, I'm positive they won't last longer than Rei and I.

I do all these on a day-to-day basis. So I'm not particularly doing this just to blow things out of proportion, but just to vent. It's not good to bottle things inside, y'know?

And, thinking, is one of the things I do best. I've taken all the "hate-tags" into consideration when I wrote that post, and I still wrote and published it anyway. Why? 'Cause I don't like to hide things. Channice said I shouldn't hide things too, so I didn't. :)

CHANNICE: oh, yes, erm , you said in your profile that you dont touch th innocent right? Can i please ask you, WHEN DID I FUCKING STEPPED ON YOUR TAIL?
CHANNICE: eeeyer, say things and dont mean it one -.- pfft . Put for what then? great that you have justice but you do not live it up at all! Zzz.

Oh my god. You? Innocent? I'm dying of laughter here already, please, my sides are aching. You didn't "step on my tail" so I only left ONE statement about you in my post. Otherwise I would've already went on to elaborate about how disgusting I think you are too. Like I said before, from the first time I saw you, I thought you were annoying. And the profile's actually pretty old. I've been meaning to change it but I got lazy.

Please, don't, for even one minute, think that the whole post down there is about you. It isn't. It is about Amanda and my disgust for her. Not about you. I did write that I have justice, but the term "justice" is very vague don't you think? If you see it from a different light, of which you obviously are incapable of, you can see that my "justice" means, "An eye for an eye." Sigh, this is something I wouldn't expect simple-minded people like you and your taggers to understand.

Joel: if she got justice, the world no law liao la. is she getting fuck by a dog right now? or inside toilet peeing and using it as a mirror to look at herself.

Norch/passerby/Joel, seriously tagging with different names doesn't do anything but show how stupid you are to think that I'm going to believe that a ton of people hate me enough to tag in my blog to express it.

And if you really think about it, there is no law in this world. There is no "absolute justice", just rules that situates fear into the hearts of billions. This isn't something I'd expect you to understand too. Anxious for my reply aren't you? As you people were tagging, I was here reading it all. I was waiting for you people to finish tagging before I said my piece. Because I believe it's proper etiquette and courtesy to allow the dumber person to finish their little simple speeches before I say anything.

Moving on to the blogs now.

[http://secretaffair.tumblr.com/]

Thanks for publicizing my blog. 'Preciate the advertising. :)

Oh, it doesn't really matter if you write my name big, small, medium or not. I don't need your shallow respect and well, that's kinda stupid isn't it. You publicize my blog, you write my full name for everyone to see and you even ask them to look me up on facebook. Do you know you're actually giving me what I want?

The first girl you really whack eh? What, just 'cause I called you a slut? Then well, by all means, find me and whack me. Go ahead. I promise I won't fight back. I promise I won't get my boyfriend to kick your ass. However, this is all under the condition that you prepare yourself for a lawsuit on assaulting me. While I may be sued for Libeling, you will too, in addition to Assault. I'm not kidding, I know what I can and cannot do in suing someone and suing someone for assault is much more possible and more severe than suing someone for online defamation. Go ahead. Be my guest. I actually look forward to this.

You look down on me? No. See, it's like this. When you look up at the sky, you're kissing my feet. If you can understand that, good for you, at least you're not nearly as braindead and I thought you were. If you don't, you need a new brain.

To me, my relationship with people is either 100% or 0%. No in between. It's rather sad but hey, that's how I choose to live my life, y'know? And another thing, I never once said nor acknowledged that I was pretty. I do believe that I'm twisted, sadistic, sick, ugly. But it doesn't matter what you say really, 'cause my boyfriend is the world to me and he thinks I'm beautiful and that's all that really matters. :)

At Amanda's blog:

Her only response to my tag, was the song lyrics of Beautiful by Christina Aguilera. Which is rather ironic, 'cause Amanda, from the way you're acting, you're far from it but of course that can be changed. Your wife, Channice and her friends however, they're gonna need millions of dollars on plastic surgery before they can even be "slightly attractive".

Jasmine: You know, this song may be appropriate for the current situation, but it doesn't suit you at all. You're a whore. You act like one and enjoy every minute of it. The moment you decided to be like that,

Jasmine: that's the moment where people are entitled an opinion about you. You seriously need to start using your brain. It's rusting already.

aki: What exactly do you want? Haven`t you been creating alot of scene kid, but not this kind, right? Laugh out louds ! Get a life, I`ve already control, alternate and deleted you from my life.

aki: What more do you want? I know you`re jealous with my happy life now, and you`re trying to ruin it . But I`m sorry, you`re just making yourself look like the real slut instead. Seriously, get a life.

aki: Young lady, one more time and your beautiful portfolio will have another record of cyberbullying ;D

Sharlyn: Hey Jas, enough already. You're really pushing people too far you know? Call your ex-bestfriend a slut? Like what the hell is that?! About that nvm already, but you still just love to keep on shooting

Sharlyn: her. What do you want to get out of this? Is it going to do anyone good who is involved with this? And you just don't realise that you really go too far. You really do, i feel like saying a thousand

Sharlyn: miserable things right now. But i wouldn't cause i don't want to. If you really think that by continuing all this that you'll be really satisfied by making everyone miserable, kudos to you.

Amanda, when you "control, alternate and delete" you bring up the Task Manager of life. You don't actually delete the whole thing. If you wanna complete your nonsensical blabbering and attempt on acting like a cool computer geek, you have to click on "Jasmine's Drama" and then click "End Task" but that still doesn't end things 'cause well, I'm not done until this post is over.

If you would like to delete me from your life, you can try burning our pictures and stuff. That works pretty well too.

No, I'm not jealous of your "happy life". I'm glad it's happy. Despite everything, I'm glad you're happy with Jun Hui. For now. :D Sigh, am not trying to ruin it, am just venting and publicly humiliating you. And you, sigh, like the rest, you need to buy the dictionary and look up the meaning of "slut". Man, this joke is getting overused. Beautiful record of cyberbullying? Are you attempting to threaten to sue me?

You do know that I still have evidence against you, don't you? I don't mean a single shit I said in that letter, dear. Oh and FYI, my record's completely clean. :)

And Sharlyn, hah. You. Don't even think about starting with me. You're the reason that my relationship soured with her. But I do have to thank you for it. I finally saw the real whore in her. And again, you're unimportant, so your comment, though well though-out and understanding, isn't going through to me.

And now, moving on to the Facebook statuses:

Firstly, I never wanted to be glam. Secondly, I never acknowledged that I was pretty, I told you that already. Thirdly, I told her to delete that paragraph for her own good because if she didn't, I would've tagged on her blog saying it's specific fees for what I've specifically done for her. And you and I both know that if people were to find out that it's fake, she's gonna get in trouble.

However I admit, I went back on my words and wrote that post because I wanted to let off some steam. Now that I already have, I feel much better. That is of course until you had to make a big fuss out of ONE statement about you. You really need to get new brains. Sorry, I can't sponsor you though. If I was a brain surgeon and there was a free trial on brain enlargement, you'd be the first person I'd invite.

I'd like to see you try to hack my blogger account. My boyfriend and I would really love to see you bypass Google's encryptions. We're a bunch of computer geeks, we know how things work. So you can stop attempting to scare and threaten me like that. I'm not like XiaXue, I won't beg for you to give me back my account and all that. I keep up-to-date backups of all my blogs, if you hack into this one, I can always create another one. And you can try to hack into it again, and you can keep doing that until you get bored. But I'll always come back.

Your facebook however, if I wanted to, I have ways to hijack your account. Just like how Amanda has her connections, we have ours too. Boy, do you know what's Keylogging? Hah. Your status was nothing but epic failure at an attempt to scare me.

Bonus:

Here's some snippets of the conversation I had with my boyfriend about you dumbfucks.

Red: JunHui Lim You better don`t let me know your username/email of your blog ARBO! I HACK DIE YOU
Red: JunHui Lim IF I EVER HACKED YOUR BLOG!! HEH HEH HEH....
Rei: pfft
Rei: he's bullshitting
Red: hahahaha i know man
Red: that's why it's so funny
Red: 'cause i'm a bigger internet geek than he is
Rei: i'd love to see him try and break google's encryptions
Red: mmhmm
Rei: unless he tries to keylog you, but then i don't think he has the brains to do so, nor do you lack them to fall for any such attempts

Red: aki: What more do you want? I know you`re jealous with my happy life now, and you`re trying to ruin it . But I`m sorry, you`re just making yourself look like the real slut instead. Seriously, get a life.
Red: eh heh heh heh that makes me giggle
Rei: only a giggle?
Red: hahaha okay okay fine a good heartfelt laugh
Rei: heh that's more like it

Rei: you obviously got them nice and riled up, heh
Red: ^^
Rei: it's pointless to argue with stupid people, you can't win unless the other side is intelligent enough to realise they lost

Red: CHANNICE: Auntie ah . i just saw you calling me slut . im here to tell you FUCKYOU in your face . (:
RED: Ahma ah, you just told me "FUCKYOU" in my tagboard, ahma. Senile already?
Red: god this is so amusing
Rei: lolol

Rei: you shouldn't bother with them either
Red: mm i wanna reply them all tonight first
Red: i'm bored already but i think it's etiquette to reply them
Rei: and don't feel even the slightest bit down because you're being hated on
Rei: you're being hated on by people who aren't worth two ounces of a cow pie
Rei: nobody really gives a shit about the stupidity they're blatantly displaying
Red: hahaha chill out baby, i got this. i'm not down or anything just indifferent now. i was amused but, it got boring :(
Rei: good then
Rei: just give them their well-deserved fuck off and then go to sleep

I really got bored already. All the retorts are all the same. And I've seen it countless of times already. Sigh. There aren't any good debaters nowadays. Ah well. I've had my fun. You guys can continue spamming, and hating on me, but well, I speak my mind and if you wanna hate on that, so be it. This is the last time, probably, that I'll reply your tags and stuff. It was fun while it lasted. Especially you Channice. I had a good laugh at your endless stupidity.

Good night people.

Gasoline

2010-05-22T01:54:00.007+08:00

I don't hold my breath
And I don't hold my tongue
And I know that you know that I don't back down
To no one

- - - + - - -

Hi. Missed me?

Hah, most of you guys probably forgot me already. I mean c'mon, I haven't posted in 2 weeks. I haven't been very active reason being, I got lazy and now that I have a boyfriend to complain and whine to, I no longer really need this blog. But more towards the fact that I'm lazy. Then after a while, I decided that once Rei was done reviving his blog, I would revive mine. And we all know that that's going to take one hell of a long time. But hey, no rush, right?

But tonight, I decided to write about everything, under the request of Heidi. And she was really sweet about it. She just said, "just love to read your blog post." and that's just a simple phrase but idk, it's kinda sweet. So here I am.

It's going to be a long read. And I am very harsh with my words. Trust me, I didn't hold my tongue this time.

Remember how in the May 3rd post, I wrote:

You know, something else has happened very very recently but I don't want to talk about it.

I'm going to explain it all right now.

May 1st, Saturday, 21:01pm.

I received a message from Amanda.

Amanda: OmgOmgOmgOmgOmg .

Red: What what?

Amanda: Luffy asked me to be his fling !

Red: I would support you but he has a GIRLFRIEND.

Amanda: He said he's irritated with keigi at times , so he's looking for a fling . O.o then he said someone who's more mature and understanding than her . And before that , we were out entire day , with him carrying my bag , seated beside me and walking beside me all day . And then he specially sent me to th MRT just to ask me to be his fling . Omg , I'm melted , babe .

Red: Ask him first would he like it if keigi did the same. Cheating, sorry I meant FLINGING, behind his back.

Amanda: Hahaha , yeah . True . True . But . Ah . Messed up . I decided to give it a miss . I want him . But I want him all mine .

Red: Good girl. Don't lower your own value like that by flinging every guy you meet.

Amanda: Haha . Mm hmm .

Amanda: I WANT A BOYFR ! OMG .

Red: Find one. But don't take someone else's away.

Amanda: I know . I'm just whining .

Red: Go find some hook up parties or something? Ask a friend intro you some guys?

Amanda: Nah . No to both ideas . Party guys are jerks . Friend's introduce is awkward like matchmake . Omg . Aaron said he's free for me . So cute .

Red: Go for aaron?

Amanda: I don't go for playboys anymore , c'mon .

Red: To be honest, before you think about getting a boyfriend, you need to change yourself a little. Manda, you're a player too. Stop flinging every guy you meet, don't even think about it. Regardless whether the guy treats you well during the relationship or not you still shouldn't fling while in a relationship. Don't tell the guy first thing that you will cheat on him first chance you get, that will only make him feel like giving up before trying. As your best friend, i'll be honest with my words. Manda, you're not valuing yourself. [I actually wanted to write, "Manda, you're a slut." here but I thought, "Mmm.. No. Too much."] You're making yourself cheap and easy by giving guys the wrong signal. That's the last thing i want you to do. Instead of always thinking that it's the guy's fault, try thinking what you've done wrong which ultimately led to the inevitable end of your short insecure relationships.

Amanda: I dump guys . I don't get dumped . And you know , every girl wants to be pampered . If th jerk can't do it , he's gotta be prepared for it . I don't care whose fault it is because it takes two hands to clap . If i'm at fault , he's going to hell . Done . I'm in th worse mood ever today , and before anything happens to you and me again , I'm going to bed .

Red: Wrong use of phrase, 'It takes two hands to clap.' Good night.

Amanda: Ugh . Babe ! Sigh . Night .

Alright kids, time for a little English lesson.

The very famous quote, "It takes two hands to clap." does not mean that if you're "at fault, he's going to hell." It means both parties should do their part in a relationship. If the relationship fails, both parties are equally at fault.

Another example would be this:

I used to wait for people to ask me out, I'd always thought that if people wanted you to be their friend, they should make an effort to ask you out, but recent events makes me do the otherwise. As the boredom creeps in, the thought of leaving my house becomes adhesive. Why not just ask people out instead of sitting around waiting? You never know what wonderful things will happen if you don’t do so. I remembered once a teacher told me this "it takes two hands to clap", no matter whichever relationship you involved, it takes both side to make things work, isn't it?

-Benjamin Low
http://b-e-n-n.blogspot.com/

I hope that short English lesson helped. Now, moving on.

Amanda, here's what I really have to say about this:

Amanda, you're not a player, you're a whore. A slut and I am gravely disappointed in you. Four-timing Max was already overboard but now you just had to go and snatch someone's boyfriend away from some poor girl too? And another fact Amanda, YOU'RE the one always getting dumped. Out of your 29 ex-boyfriends, how many of them were the ones who dumped you? Almost all the guys that you "loved" the most. You're not making yourself cheap and easy, you already are. And your chaotic, dramatic, short, painful and insecure relationships are like that all because of you. It's not the guy's fault, good lord, no. It's your own fault. And you always pin it on the guys. The guys aren't the jackasses, you're the bitch.

Oh and if you think you were kinda cool when you typed, "If I'm at fault, he's going to hell."? Hell no. You looked fuck stupid. You were my bestfriend and you weren't in the most fantastic of moods so I didn't tell you. But damn, that was one of the most stupidest things I've ever heard.

May 3rd, Monday, 01:05am.

Amanda: He broke up with keigi . He told channice to tell me to wait for him for two months . He wanna make me his last .

Red: You just met this guy a few days ago and he's talking about marrying you? And what's the reason he broke up with her?

Amanda: No . Not marriage la ! His last girlfr for th year maybe . He faded . No . They both faded .
[I checked. "They both faded." was a lie. Keigi still loved Luffy.]

Red: Normally when people say 'last' it means marriage. As long as you weren't the reason. So what's the 2 months for? Faith probably hates you right now.
[Faith is another slut who likes Luffy too. And she openly flirted with him while he was still together with Keigi.]

Amanda: Faith patched with shan and is trying to matchmake us . He doesn't want keigi to think it's cause of me they broke .

Red: What the fuck? You were the reason?

Amanda: No I wasn't but if we get together anytime now , it'll look like it is.
[Nice try Amanda. Getting together 3 days after their break up.]

Red: But if both their feelings faded, it shouldn't be a problem to get together with him.

Amanda: Nah . I avoid as much gossips as I can . I still have to settle Ian .
[Ian was her then fling. A little funfact: She doesn't like Ian at all, and he's her junior.]

Red: So much for embracing singlehood. Don't fling this time round.

Amanda: Haha . I'm still single though .

Red: You were never single. Not once. You were always with someone else. I seriously wonder how you're gonna get married and settle down without cheating on your husband.

Amanda: I wasn't attached at all . My life surrounds guys doesn't mean I'm attached . And it doesn't mean I'm a whore . And you don't have to worry about my marriage cause i'll only marry a guy who's rich enough for me . Who'd wanna betray a man rich with money and love .

Red: You weren't attached but you definitely weren't alone. And money and love don't go hand in hand.

Amanda: It'll be . If it doesn't , why th fuck would I wanna get married .

Amanda: Th word not attached defines single anyway . And hello , do we have to argue every night ?

Red: You forget you don't have the luxury of time.
[She had her fortune told a few years back, it said if she didn't get married by a certain age, something really bad would happen or she'll probably never get married.]

Amanda: I don't care even if it costs my life . It's worth nothing anyway . I've MY OWN WAY of living my life . Tyvm for your concern , babe .

Red: So be it. I wish you happiness with luffy.

Amanda: Not that soon but thank you .

Amanda, you may not have been the entire reason they broke up, but you were definitely one of the main factors. I dare you to deny that. "They both faded."? Don't make me laugh. I was on the phone with the exgirlfriend, aka KEIGI aka Jia Yi last night, for 1 hour 15 minutes. She told me every single detail. They both faded? Bullshit. She still loved him. You may not have been attached but you were always with some guy. FLINGING.

Believe me now? Whore.

Also, there is absolutely no man on the face of this planet, that is rich in both money and love. Rich in money, sure, can you handle his many mistresses? Rich in love, no problem, can you handle him being poor? Even if there is a guy like this out there, he's probably a very rare endangered species. What makes you think, a slut like you would be deserving of this guy? Good luck finding a guy like that. From the looks of it, you'll probably never get married in the next 15 lifetimes.

Your life is worthless because you made it that way, cheap whore. You have a brain, think a little for christ's sakes.

Miscellaneous stuff happened in between and they're not important so I'm gonna skip ahead. You know what, I'll just dedicate this whole post to the whole Amanda thing.

May 10th, Monday, Late Night.

Alphonso accepted Amanda as a friend on facebook and I was rather disgusted at that. Bitch, you don't know him, you've never met him, you've never even talked to him. What the hell did you add him for? There is an unspoken rule that you don't mess around with your girlfriend's ex-boyfriends. If you want to do anything, get their permission first. So what in the hell are you doing? Were you looking for a new fling partner? Tsk tsk tsk.

May 11th, Tuesday, Evening.

Red: Rei booked the pit already. We have it from 5 onwards. How much do you need for catering? There won't be a lot of people most likely.

Amanda: I don't know . I'm leaving it to you . I'm not even sure if I'll be going but I'm still gonna pay half . Take it as a gift to hei . I'll forward you the caterer's number .

Red: Before I say anything, can I know why you're doing this?
[I initially wanted to start this message with "What the fuck." I'm nice enough to hear her pathetic excuses out before slamming her.]

Amanda: I'm too packed now . There's school , there's camp , there's church , and there's luffy . I'm not sure if I can squeeze time on that day . So I hand it to you to prepare just in case something crops up that day .

Red: That's your pathetic excuse? We planned this weeks ago and now you're telling me you have no time for heidi's small birthday celebration? You made me put my boyfriend in a terribly spot, you made me argue with him over this shit and now you're telling me you might not be free on saturday 'cause you'll be too busy hanging out with other people and your boyfriend?

Amanda: I'm still paying for it you know ?

Red: So? We made plans for this already. We've made plans for this since april. And now you're putting your recently appointed schedules over this one that's been there for weeks already? What now you have fluffy, friends aren't important anymore huh?

Amanda: He's not fluffy . So ? It's not the fact that friends aren't important . Friends are . True friends are . True friends that doesn't attitude you everytime you text her out of the blue . Hmm . And at least I'm paying for the party . It's the thought that count . It's not like I'm running missing . I just said I don't know if I can make it . There's still a might what . -.-

Amanda: And besides , be grateful I'm still paying . I could choose to totally ignore your text , and run mia if I really didn't wanna care about you two or the party .

Red: Do you ever stop to wonder why your ex-bestfriend would this kind of shit to you, do you ever stop to wonder why so many people hate you? Oh that's right. I forgot, you're always in the right. Oh well. Hey at least you still have fluffy, your wife, and your darling ham, sorry typo, *your darling HAN.

Thought that counts? Bullshit. Be grateful? Are you trying to make me laugh? Hello, back then at least I still repaid my debts and my portion of the whole thing. You know what, forget it. We don't need you. Run mia for all I care.

From here on out, the rest is censored. You wanna know, you ask me directly. Why? 'Cause Rei taught me, "You break the rules, you don't make evidence of it." or something along the lines of that.

First of all, Amanda, fuck you. I am absolutely disgusted that now that you have Fluffy, you forget your friends. The rest, I've already explained clearly. I think you're absolutely disgusting. Right down to the core. In a normal person's dictionary, it's Friends before Love. In your dictionary, it's Flings before Friends. Smart.

And here's a little bonus for all you readers. You know you like the drama.

At Amanda's tagboard:

Me: u no shame uh 3 daes aft e brk upp u stead wif e guyy. wad lan is tis

Luffy: eh u confirm is 3day or not? knn

aki-me: I guess you`re just like THOSE frequent psb huh ? Hi . First, it`s not three days, it`s a month .

aki-me: Second , scold me all you want , I accept it all . I`m shameful , but you`re worse because you must have been so ashamed of yourself you dare not put your name down . How many times do I have to tell

aki-me: you FREQUENT PSBs that parents give you names for a reason ?

;Natsume - Me: did i hear a dog barking ? Stray dogs in fact , cos stray dogs dont have names one :o never get facts right only anyhow bark . Indeed like a straydog .

me: u cnfm 1 mth bo? ppl brk up on 2may ur stead on 5may, nt 3 daes den is wad

aki: uh huh , so THAT was what you meant , i assume you have some language misuse or something ? you said is i break 3 days later then stead . -.- LOL , it doesn't matter how long you've been single after

aki: th previous , it's about th relationship

aki: and please , me , use your name , you're not given a name by parents and God for nothing

aki: -nats , yeah , first dumb pperson to spam her tagboard . ilyt . and ignore psbs w/o name . -darling , iloveyoulots!

Jasmine: I knew it. You really failed your English. I said, "e brk upp" and obviously, I would be meaning the break up between Jun Hui [Luffy] and Jia Yi [Keigi]. Now why on earth would I be referring to your break up with

Jasmine: Max, 1 month ago? That's in the past already, time to live in the present babe. I find it extremely ironic, 'cause I remember you telling me that Jun Hui said he would break up with Jia Yi and he

Jasmine: asked you to wait for him for 2 months 'cause he didn't want to make it look like you're the cause, the reason. And yet 3 days later, you're with him. Slut jiu shi slut la hor :) BTW, terribly sorry

Jasmine: for always replying so late. I had to do my research first before stating my claims. I've done my research, I know more about Jun Hui than you do now, Amanda. All the bad stuff at least. And well, let

Jasmine: me just say, you're going to regret being serious with him. Jun Hui, if you see this and you're pissed off, prove me wrong then.

Jasmine: OH and regarding the whole name thing, I'm tagging with my real name right now. Not as Red but as Jasmine, my real name. And it's ironic you guys say that I'm some nameless stray dog and that I'm too

Jasmine: ashamed of my own name to tag with it and all that shit. Well girls, you're not tagging with your real names too. Doesn't that kinda makes you nameless stray dogs that are too ashamed of their real

Jasmine: names as well? Kindly THINK before shooting someone like that. I have never come across anyone stupid enough to allow their opponent to pick apart their words and use it against them. You have a brain

Jasmine: for a reason. Kindly use it, sluts. :)

Jasmine: Oh and I'd really love to see how long the both of you will last together :D

Aki aka Amanda, Natsume aka Faith aka Channice, you just got pwned. Big time.

I rest my case. This is to be updated. Goddamn, this is the first time I've ever called someone a whore/slut/cheap and actually mean it with all my heart.

A'ight, it's 5 in the morning now, I should get some shut eye. I got lots to prepare for Heidi's Bbq party later during the evening.

Good morning and good night to whoever's reading this.

I got two faces and both of them are pretty disturbing.

2010-05-05T11:19:00.002+08:00

REST IN PEACE
GRANDMA DAWSON

We loved you very very much.
I hope you've lived a very fulfilling life.

2010-05-03T02:59:00.000+08:00

You can't hide the truth,
The unspoken desires residing in your heart.
You can stop hiding your ugly face now,
Your pretty mask is falling apart.

Messy Updates

2010-05-03T01:58:00.006+08:00

I have so much to update on. And since I have nothing to do now, I might as well write some shit.

Thursday, April 22nd, Early Morning:

Just a short post.
I actually have a lot to update about but I'm tired.

I went over to Love's today, 'cause the clumsy bakahead sprained his ankle.
And we celebrated our 1st month together❤

What made me really happy today was that after making it official on Facebook, his friends were actually very supportive of our relationship.
That made me very very happy 'cause a lot happened in the past and I was afraid they would end up objecting to it.

Regardless of whatever's happened in the past, I love Rei now more than anything.

I'll elaborate on all of these tomorrow.

What I wanted to elaborate on was about how I'm really thankful that Rei's friends didn't end up hating me for all that's happened before. I'm actually very happy that they supported our relationship. Even his cousin was happy for us. Things would've gone terribly wrong if anyone objected to us.

Thank you.

That's all I can say.

Thursday, April 22nd, Evening:

I have so much to talk about but I'm so freaking tired and lazy.

However, I am absolutely outraged that that fucking douchebag didn't believe Manda.
I'm sorry Manda, I can't stand it anymore.
Seriously, who the fuck would lie about that kind of thing?
And how in the fuck do you fake one?
Jesus Mcfuck, what the hell is wrong with you people.

You guys are fucking bastards of the highest order.
You're lucky she didn't have the heart to make you pay for it, you fucking asshole.

You know what, I don't wanna talk about this. Due to various reasons.

Sunday, April 25th:

God, so many things happened that I don't even feel like blogging all of it.
But I will.

...tomorrow.

I'm sorry, due to various reasons, I can't elaborate on this. But don't worry, it doesn't concern anyone, it's about me. Personal stuff.

Humiliating stuff.

Tuesday, April 27:

Something is bothering me.
Still bothering me.
I'm bothered.

But I don't fucking know why.

Nothing much to elaborate here. I mean, I still don't even know why I was bothered. I just was.

Other things that happened recently:

I worked 1 day as a sales assistant in LE7 Jeans. It sucked 'cause my left foot was aching for some unknown reason. It just swelled up the moment I reached there. However the store-in-charge was a very nice person. I like her.
Went over to Love's on Friday to just hang out and watch Shutter Island, which sucked monkey balls btw.
Woke up early in the morning the next day to prepare to send Love to the airport. Miss called him a total of 36 times before he finally picked up. Which was half an hour past our meeting time. He overslept. He did set his handphone alarm. Then proceeded to leave it in the other room. Smart. (=_=)b Dad gave us both a ride and we hung out a while before meeting up with his classmates and said our goodbyes.
Went out yesterday, 2nd may, with family to watch Iron Man 2. I understood a good 40% of the whole movie 'cause I didn't watch Iron Man 1. I initially thought Anthony Stark was an imposter 'cause, well, what comic book hero so openly tells everyone his "secret identity"? But I enjoyed it. Kinda. No, not really. A baby was crying and crushing an empty water bottle some time during the movie. I fucking hate kids. And some asshole in front of me wouldn't turn off his fucking phone. It rang like 3 times throughout the movie. Prick.

You know, something else has happened very very recently but I don't want to talk about it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mood: Exasperated
Listening to: Eisblume - Stern

2010-04-27T11:56:00.002+08:00

Something is bothering me.
Still bothering me.
I'm bothered.

But I don't fucking know why.

2010-04-25T20:20:00.001+08:00

God, so many things happened that I don't even feel like blogging all of it.
But I will.

...tomorrow.

2010-04-22T22:26:00.004+08:00

I have so much to talk about but I'm so freaking tired and lazy.

However, I am absolutely outraged that that fucking douchebag didn't believe Manda.
I'm sorry Manda, I can't stand it anymore.
Seriously, who the fuck would lie about that kind of thing?
And how in the fuck do you fake one?
Jesus Mcfuck, what the hell is wrong with you people.

You guys are fucking bastards of the highest order.
You're lucky she didn't have the heart to make you pay for it, you fucking asshole.

2010-04-22T00:30:00.002+08:00

Just a short post.
I actually have a lot to update about but I'm tired.

I went over to Love's today, 'cause the clumsy bakahead sprained his ankle.
And we celebrated our 1st month together❤

What made me really happy today was that after making it official on Facebook, his friends were actually very supportive of our relationship.
That made me very very happy 'cause a lot happened in the past and I was afraid they would end up objecting to it.

Regardless of whatever's happened in the past, I love Rei now more than anything.

I'll elaborate on all of these tomorrow.

2010-04-21T02:30:00.004+08:00

Happy 1st Month, Rei❤

2010-04-21T01:33:00.002+08:00

Rei fucking found my myspace account back when we weren't talking.
I don't even fucking remember I had a myspace.
What. The. Fuck.

Happiness

2010-04-20T12:17:00.004+08:00

This weekend has been pretty fun. And time has been moving slowly. Me liek.

Saturday, 17th April 2010:
I was supposed to meet Love at 12, but Manda messaged asking me if I wanted to meet for breakfast so I said okay. I ended up having a terrible make up malfunction and didn't meet her. No shit, I re-did my left eye 3 times.

Anyway, I went to meet Love for a last minute, short notice, spontaneous picnic. And we did our usual stuff, hang out at the park, talk, and all that jazz. And an old virgin actually had the nerve to ask what we were doing. You know what sucked the most? We were in an effing good mood then too, like Best Friends in a relationship. Well, fine, we may have been in a very compromising position and it is in broad daylight, but honestly really, we're 17.

We're teenagers, we do shit. Deal with it.

Oh and there was this one time, Love and I were talking and having fun and he said something and I pretended to be mad and I walked out of the pavilion, looking up at the sky, drinking root beer. Then as I turned around and Love was suddenly right behind me, very very very close behind me, and started to say something. I was so fucking startled that I jumped and screamed. And I mean a really high-pitched scream. God, that will be the first and last time I'll ever do that again. Fuck you, Love. He actually got up and walked behind me as I walked away, but when he realized that I didn't hear him, he just stood there and waited for me to turn around. Thanks, Love, thanks. Totally 'preciate the scare.

I don't really remember anything else that happened, but I remember falling asleep on Love.

We enjoy laughing at another person's ignorance and stupidity. Why? 'Cause we're cool like that. You would too if you knew. Really, never try to pull off a lie on a person who knows their shit.

Sunday, 18th April 2010:
I went out with Chris and Manda today. I missed Chris! We pretty much just hung out, took a few pictures, had ice cream, and bought some clothes at bugis.

Monday, 19th April 2010:
This day was especially cute. Love, I hope you don't mind me copying and pasting our messages here. I want everyone to see how cool we are.

Red:

You're probably having classes already so you can't reply me but i'm just gonna say it anyway. I love how your messages to me today were much much much longer than usual even if it was just you talking about how school is boring. Idk why but i like it when people text me long messages. I like even more when you're letting me into your life. I know i'm not very helpful cause i'm not there with you to understand, but I'll be here to listen to your problems. I'll be here to hear you out if you ever need a good cry about it.

The cold is unforgiving,
My baby's heart is bleeding.
Stuck and alone in a place called school,
Surrounded by people, not friends but fools.

But baby, forget them, remember my warm embrace,
My sadism, my perversion, my smiling face.
Clear your mind and think of me,
Your perverted future bride-to-be.

I hope this little poem amused you in some way,
Maybe the corn, the perversion, or it being cliche.
Though I never had the intention of making this funny,
But hey, rather than be gloomy, why not be sunny?

...That last sentence was so fucking gay,
And oh this marks my 8th message, yay!
Okay this ridiculous message needs to stop,
Before it gets too way over-the-top.

But here's an entertaining challenge to you,
I just made it up and I think it's cool.
Shall we converse, for just today, in poetry?
Pretty interesting, wouldn't you agree?

...How the hell did this emo poem come to this,
This is so fucking random, kinda like Chris.
I feel like this poem is never gonna end,
Then again, I am your random perverted girlfriend.

Study hard, baby, and stop having pretend-sex with █████,
I would insert another witty line here but nothing rhymes with "█████".
Oh and █████████████████████████████████████ this morn,
That's so inappropriate here but idk, I wanted to add it on.

Okay I'm ending my message here,
This has been so goddamn queer.
I hope by now you're no longer blue,
'Cause you know what baby, I Love You.

[13 messages long ^^]

Love:

I just got out of class, my dear
Here are some words that you should hear
I'm crapping as i go along
So bear with this most rambling song

My heart did glow upon your words
Among this crowd of things absurd
Though it'll likely take me quite a while
I thought i'd tell you of my smile
Before your text my face was plain
Told naught of joy nor even pain
But then i read your cheeky verse
My lips did turn like lifted curse
~ I sat among my hollow peers
(Our teacher, you see, wasn't here)
And sipped my drink with solemn eyes
While all they spoke seemed dread and dry
They spoke of things i scarcely cared
I tried to talk to them, i swear
But soon their mundane chatter wore
Me thin. The truth? They were a bore
I left them to their idle laughs
And sought myself another path
There was a place I dearly missed
And walked towards it, drink in fist
It was the studio of the arts
Upon whose walls still hung my heart
Where i had poured my loneliness
Onto the boards and canvases
I met my teacher of yesteryear
He asked, How fare? We missed you here
We talked about my final piece
(For which i must thank you, at least)
My last relief upon that wall
I'd wanted to hold mellow call
For all my prior ones were stark
With melancholic motifs dark
It was to be a proudly tribute
To our love beyond rebuke
But that was truly not to be
When days before you'd just left me
My heart had bled and like a stain
Poured out forming portrait of pain
I told him of our tragedy
But smiled and said, we're meant to be
I'm back with her, and happily so
He laughed and said, just so you know
You scored for sensitivity
I felt your cry, your strangled plea
You might not have scored so high a grade
Had your piece with joy been made.
We chatted more; i was still free
My second teacher came. With glee,
He greeted me and wished me well
Haha! I said, School life's been hell
They said that i was welcome back
If ever i needed a place to slack
Or just to do some art if i'm free
No strings attached, no deadlines to be
Done by, or marks to be worried about
Just a place to hang, a free hideout
I smiled and thanked them for their time
I had to go, i was crossing the line ~
Soon back in class i read your words
But alas, i was interred
Within that lesson, to reply
Was mad, it would be suicide
So now i have this time alone
I hope you enjoyed that little poem
Thanks for comforting me today
The least i can do is simply to say
That i love you, baby.

Thanks for being there for me :)

Red:

Have you finally ended school?
I was waiting for your reply from when I texted you.
I'm glad I did end up making you smile,
Though I apologize my message took quite a while.

It's good you found a place where you belong,
In that school filled with simple people, stay strong!
But you know, I actually do have a reasonable fear,
"What if people hate me for what I did to you last year?"

"It doesn't matter if they know me or not,
I hurt you bad, I should be shot!
What if people think I was just playing with you heart?
Oh god, think of all the drama that could start."

One of the things that I fear the most,
Is disapproval, next to rejection and ghosts.
I'm glad what I did helped in your finals somehow,
No, wait. Shit, that sounds very wrong now.

I meant to say, I'm glad something good came out of it,
'Cause, well, both of us got the shitty bargain, I admit.
Ah well, what's in the past shall remain right there,
I'm looking forward to the future we will share.

I'm not sure if that message did comfort you in any way,
C'mon you gotta have at least found it cliche.
Honestly, I'm only good with words, saying things like that,
I can't comfort people for shit really, gack. :(

Though I could offer you a hug or two,
But alas, my poor baby, I am not with you.
So you'll have to settle for this till the next time we meet,
But in exchange for my priceless hugs, you'll have to give me a treat! ;]

Oh oh and baby guess what, I have something to say.
I watched CLANNAD ~After Story~ today!
To the part where poor Nagisa did die,
Like fucking shit hell, did I cry.

It was so painful to watch, I kept screaming, "Fuck no!"
And I continued crying for the next 4 episodes or so.
God, I didn't want to believe it when Nagisa died,
I couldn't stop crying no matter how hard I tried.

It was so bad that with hot soup I did burn my tongue,
It hurt really badly, now it's just kinda numb.
Oh and baby, do you have any homework today?
I wanna talk to you on the phone, is that okay?

I didn't get to last night so I was really lonely,
I hope today we can even if it's for an hour only.
I just wanna hear your voice again before I go to bed,
And let wonderful dreams fill my head.

Love:

I shared of my triumph made out of failure last year
It wasn't to make you feel guilty, my dear
I'm with you now, my arms hold you fast
The last thing to fear are ghosts from the past
What happened before's neither blessing nor curse
It's something we've learnt from and hey, could be worse
Approval from my lot's not something to dread
(I'm sure that they trust me to have a sound head)
Whatever the case, we're bros, them and i
If i say, 'get along!' then i promise they'll try
I don't see a reason for them to hate you
What's past is past, you know that is true
They'll give you a chance like we gave each other
They'll soon grow to know you as mine, as my lover
They're not unreasonable, really, they're not
Give em some time, i'm sure they'll like you a lot
I'll definitely want to talk to you later
I've enough to say to match a debater
I'm with my mom now, i just cut my hair
We talked of things that later with you i will share
I'm buying dinner for my brothers right now
Black pepper steak, or dead meat off a cow
(The former sounds more appetizing, desho?)
And soon on my way back home i shall go

And our cuteness stopped right here 'cause I received a really unpleasant message from someone else that actually pissed me off. I didn't have any mood to write in poetry after that. Which really sucked 'cause I was on a fucking roll after so long. The verses just kept coming. Thanks, you, for ruining that.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one's for you.

But after that, Love called at 8.12pm and we talked until 1.30am. Another 5 hours on the phone❤ And it was a really fun conversation too. We were talking about random shit and I was having a lot of fun. The damnest thing is that I can't remember what we talked about. I just remember having a huge load of fun talking to Love.

But I do remember Love saying that he was very lucky to have me and said my voice was very soothing❤

Tuesday, 20th April 2010:
I was bored so being the random girlfriend I was, I texted Love something really cute.

Red:

Hey baby. I have a confession to make.

I've kinda been keeping this to myself for a while now.

And i thought i should finally let you know...

I'm pregnant.

Did you buy it? No?

Okay truth is, i'm turning christian.

Trolololol.

Okay, okay I'll tell you the truth.

And the truth shall set you free.

From boredom.

(ˉ`●.●′ˉ)(ˉ`●.●′ˉ)
*`●. (ˉ`●.●′ˉ) .●ˊ
¤°ˇ°¤`●. .●ˊ¤°ˇ°¤
＋♥－＋ ˇ
＋－♥＋ ì
＋♥－＋
＋－♥＋ l
＋♥－＋ ö
＋－♥＋ v
＋－♥＋ é
＋♥－＋
＋－♥＋ y
＋♥－＋ ò
＋－♥＋ ü
＋♥－＋♥′˙)
,.-ˊ,.-♥′˙),.-♥′˙)
.-′(,.-′♥♥′˙)☆˙·..·˙˙·..·˙☆
*`●.(ˉ`●.●′ˉ).●ˊ→♀♂←
¤°°¤`●. .●ˊ☆˙·..·˙˙·.☆
¤ ˇ

I actually spent 1 1/2 hours typing that out manually. I claim no credit for the acsii text art, I copied this from somewhere and tried to put it into message form. 'Cause the original was different and I wasn't sure if my handphone had the necessary symbols so I tweaked it a bit and made sure it fits.

Love:

Baby, you're fucking adorable. I love you. Having dinner, going back soon. Your text made me lol :D

Really, apart from being a crazy bitch, I can be quite interesting from time to time. Sucks to be the guy who let me go in the past. He doesn't know what he's missing.

Tomorrow's our 1st month. 'Tis a shame he has a long day at school. But I'm not expecting anything for our 1st month really, since Love said he would treat me to Ootoro on our 1st year. And Ootoro is fucking expensive, it's fucking premium grade sushi. It's like what, $60 for one small piece? Wow. I'm looking forward to that.

I'm gonna go do something else now.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mood: Happy
Listening to: Kagamine Rin & Len - Gemini

2010-04-17T02:14:00.003+08:00

I just spent 5 hours on the phone with Love.
Spent a good half an hour or so singing lullabies/random songs to him.
'Cause he was tired but still wanted to hear my voice.
And he really did fall asleep.

My baby is so cute❤

Good night.

Rebel.

2010-04-16T18:22:00.004+08:00

My my. As an amateur Photoshopper, I have to say, this has to be my finest work yet. I'm actually really proud of it. I spent 3 hours working on a certain something and I'm really happy how it turned out. Really, I wonder if I could start an underground career with this, provided I don't get caught.

I went to have lunch with Manda yesterday. We were supposed to eat Lormee, the noodles that Manda is absolutely obsessed over, but because of my wardrobe malfunction, I was late and we ended up not being able to eat Lormee, 'cause the stall was closed. So we went to have Macs instead. I enjoyed listening to all her situations, everything that's happened in her life after I stepped out of it. I enjoy listening to my loved ones when they have something to say.

We went back to her place to check out her wardrobe and helped her coordinate her clothes for out mini photoshoot on Sun. Settled some stuff and then I left to meet Love. But before I left, Manda said something really sweet. Dark, but sweet. When I came into her life, it went uphill, when I left, it crumbled down. It makes me feel like I'm needed and that made me really happy. This is the kind of bond I've been looking so long for. She needs me and I need her. Even though I have my bf, I didn't feel complete, but now that I have my best friend back, I finally am.

It's a really nice feeling.

I'm not too sure if I've actually explained why my URL is Color Injection, but I'll explain it now. Back when I created this blog, I was terribly sick, and I was absolutely sure of the colorful amount of medication that I was supposed to take. Different chemicals, different colors, I definitely needed those back then. But now, let me change the meaning. As my blog title says, "Inject Color Into My Life." My happiness is finally due, I really do believe that, so inject color into my dull life.

I digress. I went over to Love's and we pretty much hung out and talked. I initially wanted to go over and watch Dane Cook with him but we ended up just talking in the other room. And Love got me to tie twin tails, aka high double pony tails. At first I was positive I was gonna look effing retarded, but because of my recent hair cut, the twin tails actually turned out pretty good and Love couldn't stop pinching my cheeks, saying, "Oh my god, you're fucking cute." Thanks, Love.

Then his friend called and as they talked, I was doing various random things to Love, trying to distract him. It was fun. Night came and I was getting tired so I kinda ended up staying over at Love's.

Okay, stop whatever you're thinking. No, we didn't have sex.

Really, people. As much of a pervert as I am, I am not that cheap. However, it was very very pleasant, falling asleep and waking up in his arms. I love my boyfriend.

I'm gonna go do something else now, and I have no idea what. Bye.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mood: Happy
Listening to: Mindless Self Indulgence - On It

2010-04-15T01:10:00.002+08:00

Waha, check out the before and afters of my new layout.

I was actually inspired by my current Firefox Persona.
I thought it was cool to play around with the Floral Vectors and Gradient colors.
Apologies if I over did it.

I like my new template very very much.

2010-04-15T00:20:00.002+08:00

I love my boyfriend❤

2010-04-14T17:43:00.002+08:00

Wow I actually really really like my new layout.
I love how the post image turned out when I write a consecutive number of short posts.
Yey.
Still working on the color combi though.

2010-04-14T16:31:00.002+08:00

New layout.
Edits all by me.
I like it.

Don't complain my blog doesn't match the url anymore.

Poison

2010-04-13T21:29:00.004+08:00

I just woke up from a nap and I feel... Well, not tired anymore.

I woke up early this morning and my eyes were effing swollen from crying at unearthly hours in the early morning 'cause Love was a total asshole the night before. By the way, I sleep at 4 am now, with my lights on, 'cause I'm too bloody chicken to sleep at normal hours now from fear of something that would wake me up. This is why I don't like to watch horror. And this routine will continue for about 2 weeks before I go back to normal.

Hei messaged and I found out that she skipped school and was looking for company, so I went out with her 'cause I wanted some company too. We went to Hub and had breakfast and I was telling Hei about how much of an asshole Love was the night before. And my story got cut off 3 times by the annoying fire alarm. Very frustrating.

After breakfast, we went to a salon to have our hair cut at Top Image. Going with Heidi's suggestion, we had choppy layers at the top and maintained our normal length at the bottom. The stylist even helped us style our hair after cutting it. We had really awesome hair after that. We went Kbox-ing and well, Kbox is getting really boring.

Then we went to find Amanda. Heidi told me in the morning that when Amanda broke up with Max [Good job babe (^^)b], the first thing she wanted to do was message me and freaked out when she couldn't find my number. When I heard that, I felt... Well... Like pretty much, "Oh my god, Amanda... Why didn't you just message me...? Why are you so stupid...? ❤" that kinda feeling.

You know what's really funny? The day she felt that, was the day I was out with my boyfriend, telling him how I wanted to buy an anklet with bells [Amanda wanted that.], and complaining how I can't find an accessory shop that sells it. And last night while I was crying like shit over something extremely stupid Love did at an extremely bad time, the first thing I wanted to do was call Amanda up and cry to her.

And you know what's really amusing? When I argued with Amanda, I got back together with Love. When I argued with Love, I got back together with Amanda. But now I've reconciled with both Love and Manda so yay❤

But you know what's the damnest thing that happened when I met up with her? This was supposed to happen:

Red: [Slaps Amanda then hugs her] You should've just told me that you needed me and I would've been there for you.
Amanda: [Hugs back] It's fate that I couldn't find your number...
Red: [Hugs tightly] You idiot. I'm sorry.
Red & Amanda: [Starts crying]
-Happy Ending-

Jesus, oh god, the corn. But what really happened was:

Red: [Slaps Amanda then hugs her]
Amanda: [Doesn't hug back] WTF WTF WTF??
Red: You should've just asked my number from Chris or something.
Amanda: [Slaps Red] Ya, I know. But you didn't have to slap me right?
Red: ==''
-Happy Ending?-

And I complained to Chris after wards: [Sorry, I actually do speak in Singlish despite being really against it. I don't really see a need to be formal when I'm with my friends.]

Red: so we went to look for her after K, then i slapped her GENTLY and hugged her, then she slapped me back ==
Chris: lol
Chris: so you all okay alr?
Red: mm
Chris: got cry? o.o
Red: no la
Red: she kept giving me the "wtf" reaction, where got mood to cry
Chris: why wtf sia?
Red: haha idk
Red: i hug her, she give me the wtf reaction and never hug back :(
Chris: she arh.... -.-
Red: ya la, dont know hw to act along
Red: wtf the whole scene could've been very touching and drama one lorrrrrrrr
Chris: YEAH
Chris: IT COULDVE BEEN LIKE
Chris: OMG
Chris: THN HUG START CRYING
Chris: AND REMINISCING
Red: YA LA
Chris: fuck lah !
Chris: LOL

Manda needs to learn to read the situation and act accordingly. That could've been our most dramatic, most touching reunion ever. But alas, it is no longer possible. O woe is me. Anyway we went home after chatting a bit. And it's really funny, we can still talk like nothing's happened at all. I like it like that. It's a nice feeling. No awkward silences, no death glares, or avoiding eye contact. It's really nice.

And I'm really happy. Why am I happy? Well, I'm a very blunt and honest person, I'll tell you why I'm happy.

1. We made up, and there aren't any awkward moments between us.
2. Manda was so busy that she didn't have time to contact her other best friend, Shar, the one who was the reason why Manda and I broke off from each other, despite Shar's effort to talk to her.

I really want to rub it in even more but it's over already so I'll just let it be. But I still don't like you.

Then Love called at 10. We talked on the phone for 5 hours. The first 3/4 was extremely unpleasant. I ended up hearing things that I never expect to and it hit me really really really hard. Even though I pretty much brought it upon myself, it still hit me pretty hard. I ended up crying really really badly, both pissed off and hurt, punching walls. But after 5 minutes of hard crying, I had to force myself to stop 'cause Mum came home. So for the next hour, I was pretty much empty. It was so bad that I wanted to say, "I hate you." and say, "Let's break up." but I could never bring myself to say it. 'Cause I've changed. I let go of things easier now. And I love him too much. We talked things out and reconciled after that but honestly, I wonder if we'll really last. I want to though.

Poison, huh...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mood: Moody
Listening to: Christopher Finnesse - Sympathy

2010-04-13T00:30:00.001+08:00

Why weren't you there when I needed you?
Where did you go?

涙が止まらない・・・

2010-04-12T23:19:00.001+08:00

Fucking idiot.
ココロが痛いだよ!
痛くて泣きたいだよ!
お前はバカだ!

2010-04-12T21:25:00.000+08:00

Upset.
I feel like anything that's said now will start an argument.
So I'd rather not say anything at all.

Fall In Love

2010-04-12T19:05:00.004+08:00

The people around me are all falling in love and it makes me very happy. Well, at least the people that mean a lot to me are. My bros are all attached, my babes are all getting attached and I'm attached. It's awesome.

I went out with Love on Saturday. I woke up in the morning and the first thing that greeted me was Mum bitching about me staying at home and not doing anything. Saying, "You keep telling me you have a plan, you have a plan, but where is this plan? I don't see anything at all. Is this how you're gonna live your life?" And then she proceeded to say something else. Her exact words were, "Your boyfriend can study, what about you? What do you think he will think of you?" Now at this point, I was already pointing my middle finger at her from underneath my blanket.

I do have a plan. My plan is to open up my Maid Cafe and Boutique, to be my own boss. I don't want to study anymore. I want to live life, doing what I want. I may not be as academically capable as my boyfriend, I'm not the brightest crayon in the box, but I shine in my own way. I do makeovers, I design nails, chokers, wristbands, headbands, tophats, clothes, I create things, I plan events, I write stories, I am useful in my own way. Sometime soon, I will start to venture into creating my own plushies and jewelery.

Mum, I'm valuable in my own way.

I prepared and met up with Love at Plaza Sing to watch Ju-on: White & Black Ghost. From young, I've only ever watched American horror movies, scariest being The Ring. I've never once touched Asian horror 'cause they are worse. But on Saturday, I felt like being nice to Love 'cause he wanted to watch it. He did online booking and our seats were right smack in the middle of the whole theater. Sucked a whole lot.

5 minutes into the movie, I was already gripping onto Love very tightly, fucking scared. The experience was absolutely horrible. I was on the verge of tears, 3 times in total. And Love's hands got numb 5 times from me gripping onto him really really tightly. After White Ghost finished, I had to go to the toilet really badly so I went. When I opened the door, I freaked myself out, 'cause there was a mirror on the side of the door. I was fucking scared by my own reflection. When I went back into the cinema, Black Ghost already started and I needed to make my way back into the MIDDLE of the fucking row. I stepped on a lot of people's feet in the process. How embarrassing.

Then finally the movie ended and I asked Love to fill me in on the scary scenes. [I closed my eyes throughout majority of the movie.] What freaked me out the most was the throaty sound that was made when the ghost appeared. That was really freaky. And now I'm having trouble watching Anime 'cause the phrase, 「今行きますから。」 "I'll be there soon." keeps popping up.

恐い・・・

After the movie, we went to Marks & Spencer to get a gift for his Mum. After that we went to Takashimaya, Kinokuniya to get his stuff. Then we went to Orchard Cinepleasure and had steak at Chicago Steak House. And I said something bad during dinner. I won't go into detail but let's just say, we really have to thank Alphonso for being such an asshole to the very end.

After dinner, we went to our favorite park again and chatted and all that jazz. Then I persuaded Love to accompany me home 'cause I was really really too scared to go home alone. Furthermore, there were 2 wakes going on near my place. He sent me home and left.

I love spending my weekends with him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mood: Happy
Listening to: Pitbull ft. Belinda - Egoista

2010-04-11T16:48:00.002+08:00

The people around me are all falling in love❤

2010-04-11T01:35:00.001+08:00

I am so effing tired.
But I'm too scared to go to bed.

I swear, I will never watch another scary movie like this again.

2010-04-10T09:44:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry, Mum, but fuck you.
I was this close to flipping you off.
That statement was extremely rude and uncalled for.
Fuck you.

2010-04-08T23:01:00.002+08:00

お誕生日おめでとうございます山P! ♥ ♥ ♥

2010-04-08T16:00:00.002+08:00

I can't do it.

Awesome Friends? Hell Yeah.

2010-04-07T23:59:00.005+08:00

I went out with my bros and babes today. Finally. It's Jacky's birthday today and we all went out to celebrate the April Babies' birthdays.

Met up with Wenny, Nur, Jacky, Joan, Jordan at AMK Hub and we took the bus down to Suntec and had Macs for a 2 hour lunch, slacking, fooling around, telling lame jokes, while waiting for Sheena. And I failed really hard. Sheena messaged Joan, what kind of cake she should get for the April Babies, she showed me and I showed the message to Wenny [April 1st Baby] without thinking. *Facepalm* I fail so hard when it comes to people's birthdays. Like mailing Tesun her own surprise birthday party plans last year, attempting to get my boyfriend a gift for his birthday only to find out that he was given a similar gift from an important someone else, and all that jazz. God, I fail.

Anyway, we took the train to Marina Bay before waiting nearly 2 hours [I think? Actually I don't really remember.] before the Shuttle Bus arrived. By the time we arrived at Marina Barrage, Banana was already there waiting for us, with one kite missing.

Kite flying was pretty alright. I didn't really fly it, but hanging out with friends was just really fun.

Shit, I'm so exhausted right now that I really can't remember what we did in the afternoon.

But during the evening, that was when the real fun started. Apparently they had plans to go play in the waters and they all brought along extra clothing. I didn't receive the message to bring extra clothing but being the very wild person I am, I still went ahead and played in the water anyway. It was really fun, filling plastic bags with water and splashing each other. I accidentally grazed my foot and got leg cramps while playing and it cut down the fun by half but I didn't care.

Jordan and Jacky, the bastards were fucking hardcore with Sheena. Not literally fucking her but playing rough with her. She got body slammed many many times. We took tons of pictures, one of which was us girls lying down, and Jordan lying down horizontally on top of our butts. He was fucking heavy. Now I know what he feels like whenever I sit on his butt, hah!

We went to clean up after a while longer of playing and I had a seriously hard time drying my clothes. I couldn't dry them at all. So I pretty much just walked around with my clothes wet and everything. I was leaving buttprints everywhere I sat. It was especially embarrassing on the train. I mean, there was so many people around and stuff.

We initially wanted to have our dinner at Bishan's Swensens but most of us were almost broke so we settled for KFC. After KFC, we went to some corner outside of J8 to cut cake and all and coincidentally, there was another group of guys who were celebrating their friend's birthday too. We had cake and then Joan had to rush home so we left. But before I left, being friendly, I wished the other guy a happy birthday too.

Then we went home and here I am.

I am so out of it right now, I'm gonna go sleep. Will reply tags and upload pictures tomorrow. G'night guys.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mood: Exhausted

"Stop Thinking." "Sorry. Becomes Christian"

2010-04-06T14:32:00.005+08:00

Everyone has someone that they can't stand. Everyone has someone that they really wanna kick the shit out of for being such an immature, brainless kid.

For me, the one person I really wanna kick the shit out of, would have to be that Christian, who is just so filled with corn. The words that come out of her mouth, is extremely cliche and absolutely nothing but corn. God, she's even cornier than me. My other Christian friends, please do not take offense. You should already know that I am an Atheist and that I absolutely do not believe in the existence of god. And Christianity is the one religion that I absolutely cannot stand.

But religion aside, you know I love you guys.

I don't believe "god" would save us from our sins and all that crap. It is in your power to change yourself for the better. I don't believe words like, "Gawd gave you life yo, be 'preciatin it." Shut up bitch, my Mum and Dad had sex, the egg got fertilized, Mum carried and nurtured me for 9 months and here I am. I am not gonna be 'preciatin something that didn't even contribute to any of that.

Humans are weak. When they are forced to one corner, they will take the first escape route available to them without thinking twice. Why do you think so many teenage girls turned to god, after falling out of love and practicing self-mutilation on themselves? They needed someone they can believe in, they needed someone that believes in them. Faith, hope, sanctuary. All these are easily available. But the difficult task is finding who the right person is.

I'm not gonna lie, on Saturday, I had a breakdown in front of my boyfriend because of my PMS and my disorders in general. I was extremely jealous that he was spending time with his mates instead of me. [This is the kind of obsession you'd get outta me when you make me open up.] Like I said, I didn't want to share him with anyone. Not even his friends and family. I wasn't making much sense that night after dinner, but I was crying, angry, saying, "I hate that I love you this much." I was beating myself up, hating myself, blaming him, for being so selfish. I hated how I was acting.

I knew I was flawed, terribly terribly flawed, and I wanted to hear it from him where exactly my flaws lie. I wanted to know, but I was terribly afraid. When I finally did ask him on Easter Night, that was after I made the decision to change myself. He listed out 3 of my major flaws, Extreme Pessimism - Picturing Worst-Case Scenarios, Overreacting, and Not Valuing Money. And I want to change all that. Why? Because he believes in me. He trusts in me, he wants to have a bright future with me. And I believe in him. Took me a while, but I believe in him. So I want to change. I want to hope. I know how I always said I found belonging in so many different people and the 3 that I remember was Team Hotness, we were a group of weird kids back then, Muna, my best friend who listened to me before she left for her home country, and Amanda who brought out and satisfied the wilder side of me. But this time, I definitely belong with my boyfriend. Is this for real or is this just another temporary thing, we'll see.

The way I described my boyfriend in the above paragraph would sound shockingly similar to how a teenage girl that just "found the light" would describe her experience with "god", wouldn't you think? Which proves my point further, humans need someone they can believe in, they need someone that believes in them. For Christians, they believe in "god" and they believe "god" believes in them. And that doesn't sit well with me. Why should I believe some figment of my imagination, when I can have someone real in front of me, with skin, flesh, bone and everything? Someone who supports me, listens to me, gives me advice, encourages me and even scolds me at times. Why choose imagination over reality?

In my honest opinion, I think turning to "god" when things go terribly wrong, is just another form of running away. Seeking refuge in someone else's bosoms, when you should be doing something about the matter at hand, that's just running away. You turn to christ, hoping your problems will magically disappear. People like these really disgust me. Right next to the people who talk about how great "god" is with an unbelievable amount of corn.

Well, this is just 1 girl's opinion.

I'm gonna go take a nap now.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mood: Tired

2010-04-06T14:27:00.001+08:00

Somebody please color my weekdays.
The monotony and dullness of each day is killing me.

Back.

2010-04-05T10:00:00.006+08:00

No, I'm not dead. I'm still here, alive and kicking.

I haven't exactly stopped blogging, and I won't stop blogging. I just took a short break, that's all. It's a little embarrassing to say this, but now that I have a boyfriend, I don't do anything else already 'cause people no longer ask me out under the assumption that I am "busy with boyfriend". Which is actually a little sad 'cause I only get to see him on the weekends. And I just lost another best friend to boot.

So yes, I am actually staying at home, doing nothing, fangirl-ing about Yamapi, working from 7-10pm, then sleeping. Same damn routine every single weekday. Someone ask me out already.

Here's why I stopped blogging for a while.

For 2 weeks, life's been sweet with my boyfriend. Everyone has friends that harbor resentment over love. I didn't want to rub it in by blogging about my happy moments with him. If I did, there would be 4-5 or 6 or 7 new posts with the label, "Happy Moments". I know what it feels like to be out of love, desperately wanting to be in it, and you see other people having fun with their other half and making you feel even worse than you're already feeling.

I will, however, show you guys some snippets of what an amazing boyfriend he is.

"You look beautiful with the sun in your hair and that innocent smile."

"I've been thinking and do you honestly think, honestly, I'm beautiful? Honestly."
"Yes, I do. You've got lovely eyes and a beautiful smile and there's nothing you can do to convince me otherwise."
"Honestly?"
"Honestly."

"Indeed, you're awesome. I'm jealous of myself for having such an awesome girlfriend."

私は世界で一番幸せな人。 ^^

I actually have a lot more to talk about but I can't seem to remember any of them right now. Anyway, what do you think of the new blog layout? I went to check my blog statistics this morning, first time in 2 weeks, and I saw that this blog still had an average of 20 readers per day even though I stopped blogging for a while. The numbers dropped from an average of 30 per day, and that isn't much to boast about actually, but the numbers kinda motivated me to change my layout. Which is a good thing 'cause I was always too lazy to do them.

Tell me what you think about it and thanks for continuing to read my blog. Even if you guys are haters/stalkers.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mood: Lazy

2010-03-23T21:56:00.001+08:00

No shit people.
I feel like putting my boyfriend's cute pictures here and adding a caption below it:
"THAT'S MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND YO"

Maybe one day I will.

2010-03-23T00:04:00.001+08:00

So much has happened today that I don't wanna blog about it 'cause it's just so long.

My Dad is a very inspirational man.
I admire and respect him very very much.
I will write a book about him one day.

Love

2010-03-21T17:34:00.006+08:00

You know, I lost so many things in one night, that night. But I gained back something more valuable.

I went out with him again, last night. We stayed overnight at ECP. I was terribly terribly late in meeting him 'cause I wanted to surprise him with a gift. But my manager didn't transfer my pay yet so I couldn't do anything but wait. And Love came and looked for me, even though I didn't want him to 'cause that would ruin the surprise. Then again, that ass is hard to surprise.

He figured out I was getting him something so I had no choice but to explain everything to him. We waited, went to Coffee Bean, had a drink and chatted. Finally got my pay, only to realize that the something I wanted to give him, someone special already did before me. It was a real bummer.

So we left Hub for ECP. We walked from quite possibly one end of ECP to the other. Horrible, I say. Absolutely horrible. But it was worth it. The place that Love picked out was amazing. And there was absolutely no one there. Except for this fisherman who still kept fishing even after 2am in the morning.

We sat down on the sand, chatted, cuddled, I ranted and complained and all that stuff. It was pretty cool 'cause I was really fed up with me being flat-chested and he said that he couldn't care less and he's the first guy that I'm tempted to believe. I mean, a lot of people teased me for my size and sometimes I'd ask them if it's really not nice and stuff and most of them say it's alright, but I never believed them. When Love said it, I was really tempted to believe him.

The night passed very quickly and before we knew it, it was already 3am, coming 4.

4am In the Morning, Under The Blinking Stars❤

The night was pretty cool, we talked, cuddled, kissed and made our relationship official. Morning came and we took a cab home. We had to walk all the way back to this carpark before we could get a cab. We left our spot at 7.30am, and at 8.48am, we were still bloody walking. Horrible. Absolutely horrible. But thankfully, we found a cab exiting the carpark so we hailed it and went home.

Got home, slept and here I am. And now I'm gonna go watch Soul Eater. Why? I don't know really.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mood: Happy

2010-03-19T23:28:00.002+08:00

Oh my god, see now I want Herpes and Bad Breath as gifts now for any random occasion.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/6708/images/

Scary Shit.

2010-03-19T10:34:00.004+08:00

Jesus, I just had one of the worst nightmares in my history of nightmares.

Normally, my dreams involve being chased by dolls, slaying zombies in some random mall, jumping very high up and down, etc. But this time... Good god, one of the most terrifying dreams ever.

In my dream, I woke up, and got dressed for some wedding event. I was wearing a gorgeous blue silk dress with chiffon over it. We arrived at this small, rundown chapel, in the middle of god knows where, and all our family friends were already present. So we took our seats and suddenly this fashion show starts. Models were coming out wearing beautiful couture wedding gowns, and it was really nice. Then I turned to my Mum and asked her what was all this about.

And she said, "It's time for you to get married. Christine got married around your age."

At first, it didn't set in but when it did, I said, "Wait, you mean you're gonna chuck tons of guys at me and expect me to date them and pick one?" Mum just nodded her head. Sweet bananas, I was being forced into a wedlock. "I don't want to be a frivolous woman!" "You're not, now sit down and shut up." In my mind, I was already thinking, "I already have someone special, goddammit!" So I got up, I got in front of everyone and announced that there isn't gonna be a wedding 'cause I didn't want to be a frivolous woman. I don't even know how "Frivolous" fits into context here but that was the word used in my dream.

And I ran out the chapel. Crying.

I ran into another chapel, and called my love there. I was crying and crying and crying and I told him to meet me at Bishan, Junction 8. He agreed and I left the place. I ran, to a bus stop that said I was in Seletar, with my little brother chasing after me, trying to get me to go back. I squeezed up the bus and left, leaving my little brother behind. But then I felt bad 'cause my parents weren't with him so I messaged him where I was going but told him not to come find me.

The bus dropped me off at the train station and I was at "Seletar Station" the whole MRT map was fucked up I don't even know how the hell to get to AMK. I got off at random stops and everywhere I went, my little brother would be there behind me. It was so scary. My phone battery left about 20% so I called my love up again. At first, a girl picked up then she passed the phone to my love and I asked him where was he and he went, "Huh?" and I told him we were supposed to be meeting at Junction 8 and he said, "Wait, what? I've never heard of this." Then the girl asked him to hang up the phone so he said he was busy and hung up on me. The conversation that we had felt like he didn't even know we were together at all. And god that hurts.

I was still on the train when I called him. He hung up on me and my brother found me so I stopped running and told him to stop chasing me. He even scared me by lying that Mum was on the train and she was coming to get me. Sick bastard. I woke up after that.

The thought of being forced into a wedlock, when I have absolutely no intention at all of getting married in the near or distant future, my god that's some scary shit. Especially since I'm not getting married to the one I love. And to hear that my love doesn't even know we're together, that's some scarier shit right there.

After writing it out, it doesn't sound as scary as it really is, but my heart was palpitating when I woke up.

Arranged marriage. Oh god.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mood: Queasy

2010-03-18T11:59:00.001+08:00

The life you're living is the life I've lived.
Trying to sound philosophical like me?
You're 10,000 years too early.

2010-03-17T23:02:00.004+08:00

Work today was like woooo!
Almost the entire list I covered today, I had to converse in Chinese.
I was yelled at by 3-4 old and very rude cheenas, one even yelled at me in dialect.
I spoke in Chinese to a Malay guy again today 'cause I wasn't thinking.
And one of the staff at my work place probably doesn't like me.

But guess what?
For the first time after working at my job for a total of nearly a month [Adding up all the days I've worked there], I've finally got my first appointment for my manager.

That feeling of achievement was so satisfying, I wouldn't mind getting yelled at again.
The thought of my love, also cheered me up and helped me stay focused on my work.

Now I don't have to worry about being fired.
Yayness!

Yes, I actually get quite happy at the smallest of things.

2010-03-17T13:23:00.002+08:00

But you know, on the other hand, I'm kinda mad at myself for being head over heels for him.
It's not in my place at all to do this.

o//////o

2010-03-17T12:21:00.006+08:00

I really have no idea what to blog about now.

I could write a new episode for Red's Talk Show.
I could write a new poem.
I could continue my Laven fanfictions that I never got around to completing.
I could write about my guilt and fears.
Or I could write about love.

o//////o I feel embarrassed talking about love. I've been thinking about nothing but him recently and it's like woooo. I keep remembering what we did on Sunday night. From the moment he asked, "Do you wanna hug?", to the warmth of his hugs, to the nice feeling of his hands running through my hair, to the funny irregular beatings of his heart, to the trying-to-find-my-heart-'cause-it-was-beating-too-faintly [Ooo this sounds kinky], to him picking me up and carrying me, to falling asleep on each other, to leaving butterfly kisses that lingered...

Whenever I remember the butterfly kisses, butterflies flutter in my stomach and they made my heart go "kyun~!"

But I was in the shower yesterday, preparing for work. I was thinking too much and I was afraid. So I sent him a text message telling him that I had the weirdest feeling that, as karma for what I've done, he'll reject me. He didn't reply me and for the 3 hours I worked, I was absolutely lifeless. I even started writing notes, about how much I wanted to hear him say, "I miss you", "I love you", "I wanna be with you", but I could never tell him that 'cause it made me sounded clingy.

Work was terrible, but on the bus ride home, I kept grinning to myself 'cause I remembered what we did on Sunday. People were probably staring at me funny. When I reached home, he called. And I was really really happy. 'Cause the first thing he did after finishing his stuff was call me. We talked for nearly 2 hours. Actually we didn't really talk much 'cause I was actually pretty tired, but I loved how the silence wasn't awkward and I really really didn't want to put down the phone. I even went outside to get the extension cord just so I could charge my phone and not hang up while I laid on my bed.

And he said, I looked nice when I smiled.

And I came clean with my feelings. I told him I love him. It was really hard to say 'cause the words just wouldn't come out. When I told him that, I wasn't expecting a reply really, I just wanted him to know. And while I was browsing through funny articles on Manofest.com., he suddenly said something.

"I love you."

Those words shook my whole body, my heart stopped beating for a moment and I forgot how to breathe. I'm not shitting you, that's what I really felt. You have to have had experienced love before you'd know what I'm talking about. Before I slept, I asked him say those words once more. It was nice, very nice. And I had a really sweet dream that I can't remember. Damn.

Those words alone, are enough to make me happy.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mood: In Love

2010-03-17T11:59:00.001+08:00

I love you.

2010-03-15T20:23:00.001+08:00

Are you ugly?
A liar like me?
A user, a lost soul?
Someone you don’t know
Money it’s no cure
A Sickness so pure
Are you like me?
Are you ugly?

[Chorus]
We are dirt, we are alone
You know we're far from sober!
We are fake, we are afraid
You know it’s far from over
We are dirt we are alone
You know we're far from sober!
Look closer, are you like me?
Are you ugly?

Turn a blind eye
Why do I deny?
Medicate me
So I die Happy
A strain of cancer
Chokes the answers
Are you like me?
A liar like me?

[Chorus]

I don’t care, you don’t care
I’m bitter, you’re angry.
You don’t care, I don’t care
You love you, just like me
I blame you, you blame me
I’m bitter, you’re angry.
You don’t care, I don’t care
You love you, like me

[Chorus]

Are you Ugly? [X3]

Because anger deforms our souls.

Biggest Bitch.

2010-03-15T16:42:00.006+08:00

さよならここから始まるから

This song, Tabidatsu Kimi e by RSP, was dedicated to people who's best friends are going somewhere far away. I am going somewhere far away, and when I first heard this song, I thought, "It would be really cool if someone dedicated this to me before I left." The lyrics, 「さよならここから始まるから」 "Sayonara kokokara hajimaru kara" meant "Goodbye, it starts from now on", "it" being the best friend's life elsewhere. But I played around with the words a little bit.

Goodbye, everything else in my life starts from now on.

Friday, 12 March
Worked with Chong again and confided in him. He gave me good advice and heard me out. I was on the verge of crying, got off at the wrong stop, and was late for work because of a certain insensitive message. When I arrived, I forced a smile and when we took a break, I confided in Chong and he cheered me up and made me laugh.

I can't remember what he said, 'cause I couldn't blog about it 'cause my blog was filled with red and I didn't want to ruin the whole mood with happy stuff. But yeah, he made me very happy. Thanks bro.

Saturday, 13 March
I went to work again, without noticing the sudden spammage on my tagboard. From Friday onwards, I was already really really reluctant to go to the party that I was so excited about 2 weeks ago. I told Chong about it and for the whole day, I was extremely indecisive. I didn't know what to do.

I had 3 plans.

Plan A:
Go to the party, do my job, and suffer their black faces and stares. I don't do well with black faces and I can't enjoy the party to the fullest if there is the slightest bit wrong somewhere.

Plan B:
I resign from the organizing committee, choose not to do my job, watch the party crash, and suffer their very pissed, black faces and stares. I might even get a tight slap for that.

Plan C:
I ditch the party and go out somewhere else and refuse to answer any calls.

From the start I was already leaning to Plan C, but after work, I thought I'd go with Plan B. But somewhere around midnight, I couldn't decide again. So I made plans. I was messaging Alphonso, and told him about my situation, he offered to accompany me but was lazy and canceled out on my at the last minute. I called up a friend that I've lost contact with for half a year. He picked up and I made plans with him and he was cool with it. Plan C it is.

I notified the people who I considered important enough to tell my plans to, but I'm sorry Christina, I wanted to tell you but I didn't know how you'd react.

I wrote letters to Christina, Heidi, Amanda, Shuhan. First two, apologizing and hoping for forgiveness. Last two, being a bitch and writing hurtful stuff. I was so nervous about what I was gonna do the next day, I couldn't sleep until 5am in the morning.

Terrifying best, days of our lives
We're hanging on the best days of our lives
Today's about the best days of our lives
Oh, they're coming right up if we can just get through this one

Sunday, 14 March: White Valentine's Party
Woke up at 10 and helped Tesun with hair and make up. She looked great, as always❤ And she made me a bento! The Tako Weiners were awesome but the Tamagoyaki tasted like pastry for some reason. The kind that you'd buy at Polar. But thanks anyway! When I was done with Tesun, I was already late to meet my friend. And I had to get my dress too. I passed the letters to Tesun 'cause she knew about what I was gonna do.

While waiting for the bus, I messaged Amanda and Shuhan to tell them to come collect the food at my place 'cause I was going out to settle some stuff and won't be home. Amanda didn't want to help take Tesun's cookies and apparently couldn't understand English at all and it's been a while since I used bitchy sarcastic tricks like, "Oh terrible ah you. Tesun's gonna get mad :X", "Oh I forgot you failed your English. Me, not home. Me, no go home. Can understand? :)" It was fun while it lasted. It's been a while since I could act like a kid. I've always been a very rash but protective person, let me be a spoiled princess from time to time. It's all about balance.

Went over to find Christina and got my dress. I apologized to her even though she didn't know what I was apologizing for.

I'm sorry, Christina. I'm really really really very sorry.

Took a bus down to AMK Hub to meet my friend. Standing beside him felt like old times. I thought it would be very awkward, but it wasn't. I was comfortable with the silence. We went Kbox and I sang my heart out, occasionally really happy at certain songs that came up, occasionally wanting to cry at all that's happened. But the damnest thing is that every song my friend picked, had lyrics that perfectly describe my situations.

I wondered if he did it on purpose.

Chong messaged and I called him up immediately, proud to tell him that I ditched the party. He was happy for me. And I was proud.

The air between us loosened up and we went to have dinner at Suki Sushi. We were chatting like old buddies and somewhat like a couple. It was cute. I force-fed him Fried Shrimps and we drank through the same straw. It was really cute. We walked and talked and it was totally different than when I was with Alphonso. I couldn't be myself at all, or rather I was afraid to. But my friend, he knows me inside out, truly and he understands where I'm coming from. He's seen my worst, absolute worst, and yesterday, things between us was really... Different.

He's a weird friend that even after a really huge argument and a 6 month cool off period, we can talk like nothing's happened at all.

We were supposed to meet up with Tesun 'cause she wanted her best friend to meet me, but they had dinner together and forgot the time. I'm really glad Tesun got to be able to meet up with her best friend and hang out with her. So my friend and I went to the park to chat.

We talked about everything. I ranted and had mixed feelings about the party. On one hand, I was really upset that the party I was so excited about two weeks ago, ended up like this.

The Single's Party is on the 14th of March, Sunday.
People interested, please try to make yourselves available that night.
I'm hoping the party's gonna be a big one.

And I'm the DJ for that night and that is so awesome.

IMMA BRINGIN OUT DA TECHNO

Waha!
I'm farting hell excited for the party man.
I so hope nothing will go wrong.

I have so many things I want to do.

My god, I'm so excited I swear my cells are dancing

My god, I invited so many random people I can't even remember who I invited.
But I think I reached my quota of 5?
I can't remember.
Damn.

Change of plans.
~~I'm not bringing out the techno.~~

IMMA BRINGIN' OUT DA REMIXES

Wait for it betches.

- - -

I'm still bringin' out da techno.
WAIT FOR IT BETCHES

Fuck yeah we got the function room!

Singles' Party Update, the Function Room at a friend's Condo is now confirmed.
I will notify you guys of the final details soon.

I AM SO FARTING EXCITED

On the other hand, I ditched it for payback. The Devil and the Angel came out to play, playing different games. I never liked to be a bitch. I've always wished that I would be accepted and loved no matter where I go. What I did to the party, single-handedly ruining everything, that was by far the worse thing I've ever ever done from birth till now. But it was all for payback.

When I argued, my feelings were pure, I never resorted to dirty tricks like these. But Amanda just didn't know when to piss off and provoked me purposefully. To play the bitch, it's always been very easy for me. Easiest now 'cause I was in charge of so many things. You provoked me purposefully, and played right into my hands. You took my bait and pushed everything to me, and right before your very eyes, everything crumbled. This will teach you to play your cards right next time. You've lived a life where you've met straightforward people who's slapped you, fought with you, tried settling things with you with confrontations and intimidate you with gang backings, you forgot about the other kind. Always remember, there will always be dirty, cunning bitches like me hanging around in the world.

No matter how much of a bitch you can become, there's always someone out there who can outbitch you.

When Heidi messaged me, I was feeling so nauseous that I couldn't meet her. I wasn't keen on seeing Amanda anyway. I made up my mind already. I didn't need a close friend who's good company but doesn't understand me. I only need friends like the one I was with then.

I digress.

I talked with my friend and we reminisced the times we were together. I missed his company really. I missed his hugs, they were always the best. I missed talking to him about anything and everything. Because the silence between us isn't awkward. It was always peaceful and comfortable. For the time I met up with him and to the time we were chatting in the park, I wanted to ask him for a hug, because I really needed one for all that's been done to me, for what I've done. But I didn't dare to ask him for one 'cause I felt it wasn't in my place.

But when he asked me to sit beside him, my heart was beating fast. The silence between us was tense but short. Then he asked me, "Do you wanna hug?" I replied, "Yeah, sure why not." but in my heart I was like, "Jesus, finally!" His hugs always were the best. It felt like the good old days.
It was really warm and cozy and it felt really nice when he played with my hair as we cuddled. I could hear his heartbeat, it was funny and irregular. I couldn't find my own heart though. It was beating really faintly against my chest. Really calmly, serenely.

I'm a really awful person aren't I? I single-handedly ruined the party, went Kbox-ing and getting cozy with some guy while they freaked out and panicked over my absence. I am an awful person.

But now that I think about it, friends that I don't make myself, are meaningless. I got to know a lot of people through Amanda, they just end up being mere acquaintances, save Christina. Christina was the only real friend that I got to know through Amanda. The others don't even cut it close. Friends are something that I have to make myself, then they'll stay, like Tesun and Ruru. So I decided that no matter what the people who came to the party say, it doesn't matter to me 'cause they're not important. I've never felt so strongly about this in all my life.

I had a great time with my friend last night. It was so cute, we cuddled, taking turns to rest our heads on each other's shoulder, occasionally, leaving butterfly kisses here and there. We stayed at the park till 7 in the morning. At around 5, we crashed and fell asleep on each other. But when people started walking around, it got annoying. The privacy was nice while it lasted. Before he left, I kissed him and walked home.

I was smiling the entire time I walked home.

We're not together though. He did ask if I wanna give it a shot, but I wasn't sure. I would love to, but I'm afraid of things going sour. We'll see how things go.

I deserve three tight slaps for what I've done, and I'm gonna get huge karma for this, but I don't really care. I spent my Sunday wisely, letting go of things that's bothered me for the past weeks.

さがし物見つけた。

P.S. - Tesun, please keep it a secret who I went out with 'cause only you know.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mood: Calm

...whut?

2010-03-14T18:00:00.001+08:00

Amanda's Tagboard:

Red: You know, I thought of finally handing you over to Max and accept him as your bf on sun. But after reading your post, I'm having second thoughts. You don't exist to replace GIRL A, you exist to be
Red: BETTER than GIRL A. What in god's name are you thinking, replacing her. BE BETTER THAN HER.
Red: And LOL you just copied and pasted from my blog. [Regarding details to WV Party] Btw, did you use my laptop while I was away?

aki: red-and then ? so ? so ?

Facebook:

Sharlyn Victorie Zhang I just realized that some people even with my ignorance and pretence , they will never be happy. For example, when I give way to things and stop trying to trouble the person, she go and find trouble with someone else! Like whatthehell right?
Jasmine Red Nera You are not my immediate close friend so stop expecting me to think of you the moment something crops up.

Amanda's Blog:

people aren't going to just eat one finger food and besides , that's not th only thing you have there .
and you , YOU , said they're not to expect it to be filling .
so obviously , getting a mix of nuggets , breaded scallop , mini sausages , would do just fine .
and , i did tell you we're off budget , you think everything's cheap ?
have you seriously did any accounts on money and how much you waste ?

can luh .
pay for th food , th function room , you're shopping th groceries yourself .
me , hideous ?
i take it as a compliment .

imagine , i paid for th balance of th function room .
i paid for th food .
i carried th food from hgp , all th way to your place .

i lazy argue , it's so ... retarded .
but i shall be a bitch to irritate you .
hahahahahahahaha

My Tagboard:

Shar: Whatthehell? Let me give u 3 words. Pissed. Disappointed. Problematic. Okay? Go n see it for a mini explanation, search ur heart for the whole explanation
Shar: At facebook

Sharlyn Victorie Zhang Three words. Pissed. Disappointed. Problematic. Pissed at why things keep happening, disappointed at how people reacts to things, why are people being so problematic?

aki: food , drinks , everything . all under tab . and it's 60 for function , 40 for food .
Tesun: enough for 40ppl? hmm i'll try... i dunn
Tesun: o how i gonna manage to slice everything in 2 hrs n cook them... abt 1-2 pieces per person should be fine right? i think making 80 will kill me. lol. i dun think parties need scallop cakes. chips n di
Tesun: ps would haf been better. get loads. or peanuts, or erm, i know, CUPCAKES!!! i sux at them tho
Shar: Hmmm Tesun? You really really think so?
Aki: I don't think people need to eat at parties either .
Tesun: hmm? no i think food is necessary cos i'm a glutton... but i think since u haf a limited budget its ok to go with more neutral alternatives. there's often bee hoon, but i tot finger food would b bette
Tesun: r 4 this party. i'm bringing cookies n sausages so its nt so bad.
Shar: We don't really have a limited budget I thought? Anyways the simple thing is. Manda brought 25 n I only brought 20 that day what do you think we could
Shar: Buy?? Besides, we kept getting unappreaciating comments for someone. Got scolded because we didn't bring enough money, got scolded because Someone didn't tell us or me in particular I need not
Shar: Do anything anymore. But okay, since someone wants to take the responsibility of doing everything let her be bcos I'm tired of all the bs&n
aki: i agree .
Tesun: ?? i'm nt exactly following anymore... scolded?? hmm, actually i kinda tot, 25+20=45 is quite alot for food. i was thinking tht scallop cakes were a bit on the ex side for the no of ppl attending

Sharlyn's Blog:

Rip~ Rip~ Rip~ it to shreds. Thats what my anger was telling me to do.(opps as i started to write, my anger kinda got me) But now i've calmed down a little.. but anger built up again. See this is how pissed i am.
Anyway yesterday i went to church with Manda & Yejie. Then Yejie shared with us a valuable wisdom.

And i thought... and thought...

No.1 my dear girl, if you don't trust us to do the shopping, then do so yourself next time. There always seems to be a communication breakdown, and you are not mainly the host of the party. So if you wanted or not wanted something, you have to discuss with us. Which you didn't and so, once again communication breakdown. I don't know whether you have an attitude problem which you kept attituding us for quite some time already, or you just simply can't control your temper, can't give way? Manda let me see e smses , and you seriously were pushing it. When i saw your rantings on your blog that time, i was shivering with anger. I almost wanted to start sms-ing to start a quarell because u're really starting to act princessy.

Besides, we made so much effort, not a single word of thanks coming out from your mouth? What kind of gratitude is this seriously? Besides, not only this i was unhappy about. You were telling dear Manda just in order to get a dear "chiobu" to come because you promised a person so and so the person can be special? No need to do anything? No need to pay for some things?
Fucking absurb! You know what? A true friend, would do all the sai kang for you, wouldn't give a shit or at least not too much and wouldn't fuss too much. But this friend fusses most of the time. And simply to say, i gave up on her from last year already. And you did not even discuss with us? Do you even care about our feelings? I don't pretty much think so, it seems to me nowadays that you might be a little bit more concerned of your own . So (:

No.2 After reflecting on the wisdom that he imparted to me. I've realised. Right from the beginning of time when you came to this school, it was all about you. I dunno what to say, but just that... you just seemed to have the most problems. As in are you seeking attention indirectly? To me it seems so nowadays, because you started the quarell one after another. And what manda and i would talk and blog nowadays? You, you, you, you, you . Are you happy? You've got all the attention, wasted my time and feelings! Hurray. Seriously. Since you said that humans are funny creatures, and i need to let it go. I will, watch me, i'm walking away right after tomorrow. If you want me back, you'll probably gotta chase for it because Manda is too nice and softhearted to bear ur shit and nonsense. And from your last posts, it offended me deeply so im not gonna care anymore. Do things your own way baby since you don't trust anyone to do a good job for you using their own agenda instead of yours.

No.3 About you going to the states. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? because you wanted us to beg you "oh dear dear girl please don't go because we'll miss you so fucking much! Spend your youth with us and when you grow old you wouldn't have accomplishments that you're proud of! Ha!" I won't because, i don't want you in your seventies and tell your grandchildren that i didn't get to do this and this because my friends stopped me. i dont want to ruin nor hold you back from what you're supposed to do. get this into your head besides, u didn't even call me so i guess i do not matter enough to you as well ._." The thing is. We would want an opportunity like this, but it seems from all your comments that you gave us about this plan. Your heart is just not ready to deal with such realisms of the world because if you do, then you'll just go and face it. ADMIT IT. U'RE JUST FUCKING AFRAID OF CRITICISMS BUT NO ABSOLUTE ONE IN THE WORLD IS P.E.R.F.E.C.T. Please, be strong, and have courage to face the giants. We have faith in you, but if you don't have faith in urself, then you won't do it.

And i'm so sorry it turned out to be rantings because my heart couldn't stand. So long

You guys are being so stupid, I'm not even gonna reply to all of these. Did you guys fail your English? Like fo' serious, have I been talking to dimwits all along? I said time and time again, our expenses would not reach over $40. Had you listened and bought what was necessary, you wouldn't have money problems now.

Also, Sharlyn, please stop talking as if you're really big and important. Fuck no, I ain't begging you to come back to me. You're nothing but a joke.

And you know, your tales are spinning outta control. Don't know what Amanda brainwashed you with, or whether is it you guys are so dumb that you can't even understand the English I'm using, but seriously, stick to the facts please.

Jesus, stop eating pig brains. It ain't making your dumb any smarter.

2010-03-12T11:00:00.002+08:00

You know what, the sooner I go to the States, the better.
I am sick of this shit.

2010-03-12T10:49:00.001+08:00

You are not my immediate close friend, so don't expect me to think of you the moment something crops up.

I am not in the mood for bullshit this fucking morning.

2010-03-12T10:43:00.001+08:00

Fuck.
See, now I'm gonna end up spending $180, my whole pay, on the party itself.

2010-03-12T10:38:00.002+08:00

What in the jesus mcfuck were you guys thinking??
FOUR pack of Scallop Cakes with only 10+ cakes inside and ONE pack of Chicken Nuggets??
Which were unnecessary in the first place??

WHAT THE JESUS??

Heaven.

2010-03-11T22:44:00.003+08:00

And I'm back from the shower. Can you people seriously stop calling me while I'm showering halfway? You people and your timings... Amazing.

Anyway, today, I woke up and got ready for work, excited to earn $60 a day, only to have Kelly call me at 9, telling me that the other girl backed down at the last minute.

I was not happy with that.

I've been working alone for a while now, and I fucking hate it. When the other girls stopped working as telemarketers, I continued 'cause I needed income. 3 hours of silence a day is horrible, and I continued for weeks. I've had enough of working alone. Do you see now why I'm afraid of being alone? To work as a flyer distributor, alone, on the first day, is worse, considering that I'm working 10 hours today.

So I called up Manda and Chris, asking them if they wanted the job. They didn't. Chris had a valid reason but Manda was just being plain lazy. Lazy betch. So I thought, "Okay, fine. Whatever." Met up with Kelly and she called up various people and asked them if they wanted the job. Guess who came to the rescue. HORNY BUSH! Chai Howe, that horny bush, took up the offer.

It was so unexpected. But fucking awesome. Actually, he only accepted it 'cause I sounded really desperate over the phone, but still. It's fucking awesome. So we cabbed down to his place, at Kelly's expense, and went straight to Suntec.

And now here's the awesomest part.

When I entered the convention hall with Kelly, every where I went, every single direction I turned, every single booth that caught my eye, had at the very least 3-4 rather attractive guys. I was giggling like crazy. I swear I could've nosebleed to death right there. I couldn't stop smiling, my heart wouldn't stop beating so fast, I was freaking out so bad over it. I mean, seriously, it's not everyday you get to see all the attractive guys in one single location. And also do take into consideration the fact that I've been single for 6 months already.

It was heaven.

Work today was fucking awesome. Indeedy old chap, the tedious manual labor of today was so delightfully splendid that the use of profanities was required to explain thoroughly how delightfully splendid today was. Yes, was fucking awesome was today's work.

I couldn't stop smiling at that fact, so for the whole of today, I've been smiling non-stop. And it made a few people happy. Some guys even made second glances at me and smiled back. There was one security guard that I found super mega hot and he occasionally glanced at me. I wanted to make eye-contact with him, but I was too shy. And another security guard came up and talked to me. It was just small chit chat but it's better than nothing. And there was this one cute guy giving out flyers across from me. A lot of people approached me to ask for directions and stuff and it made me wonder if I really looked approachable .Then 2 different pairs of recruiters asked me for my particulars, like was I doing part time job and how old I was and stuff. When I replied 17 this year, they said never mind and left. My god, what if they were gonna offer me a job as a show girl? But wait, I shouldn't think too much. But what if?? Damn you, age!

And I had an awesome heart to heart talk with Horny Bush today. We talked about many many many things, like why the sky is blue, when the moon isn't purple, why he's so hairy and stuff like that. It was so awesome.

It just dawned on me, but ALL MY BROTHERS ARE ATTACHED NOW. WHAT THE STRAWBERRY. Dammit, and there are people who are more advanced than me!

Anyway, Joan, Adeline and Xiu Rong came to the IT Fair today and I swear when they were around, no one wanted to take my flyers. When they left, suddenly everyone wanted one. Kukunehnehs. And Jacky and Nur came today too. The moment Nur saw me, he kicked me. Ass. And Chris came later. HAH BETCH, YOU SHOULD'VE DECIDED TO WORK TODAY. YOU THIS SUPER WHITE PERSON, YOU.

All in all, today was awesome, exciting, fun, and awesome. It was tiring, and my shoulders are aching but it was so awesome. So worth the pain. Oh oh oh and I saw at least 5 girls who were taller than me today. And I saw this lady who was wearing red fucking hot stilettos. STILETTOS. You don't mess with the stilettos. She looked gorgeous. OH OH OH and there were TONS of good-looking guys that came to the IT Fair.

Okay, I don't remember anything else now, so I'm gonna end it here. I'm gonna play Puzzle Pirates before I hit the sack, 'cause I'm cool like that.

I love IT Fairs now. Woo.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mood: Ecstatic

2010-03-11T21:58:00.001+08:00

And I'm back.
I have so much to update about today.

But first, TO THE SHOWER!

2010-03-11T08:47:00.003+08:00

You know, I remember when my Dad used to bring me to all these IT Shows when I was really young, hoping to get me into tech stuff.
But instead of getting interested in tech stuff, I was more interested in their show girls.

And it hit me, like bam, "I want to be a show girl once when I grow up."

Wearing racy outfits, using their beauty and smile to attract people into buying their stuff.
Actually, I was more interested in the racy outfits than the sales.
I found it really cool.
And let's face it, I find a lot of weird things cool.

And guess what, I'm working at the IT Show today, tomorrow and Saturday.
But unfortunately, as a flyer distributor.
I promise though, if there are any more IT shows in future, I'll definitely sign up to be one of their show girls and drag Chris and Manda along.

But will my height intimidate?

And I'm not sad anymore.
Just hungry.

2010-03-09T23:36:00.002+08:00

The upper lid of my left eye is swelling and there is a bump inside.
My god, I'm so scared.
What if an insect is growing in there??
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/insects/wormeye.asp

Good lord.

- - -

Okay never mind, I found out the real reason.
It's nothing terrible, thank god.

Is there a firm, painful lump in the eyelid or a tender "pimple" on the edge of the eyelid?
Yes
You may have either a CHALAZION or a HORDEOLUM; both are types of STIES.
-->
Sties usually heal in 5 to 7 days. To relieve the pain, apply warm compresses for 10 to 15 minutes, 4 times a day and take mild pain relievers. If the bump grows or doesn't go away, see your doctor. If the redness spreads or swells quickly, seek help promptly.

Hopefully it'll get better by the party this Sunday.

2010-03-09T13:12:00.002+08:00

I miss being a kid.
Our hearts were innocent, and we said things like, "I'll marry you when I grow up," without reservation.
Grudges didn't run so deep, things were settled by lending crayons to each other.
Life wasn't so complicated, the hardest decision we had to make was which slide we wanna get on first at the playground.
No one wore masks, it was easier to say, "I'm sorry" and "I love you".
And no one judged.

I miss being a kid.

2010-03-09T12:17:00.003+08:00

You know, I really don't like it when I argue with someone special over me not being able to shut up.
'Cause then after the argument, I can't speak my mind anymore.

2009 Déjà vu.
:(

2010-03-09T12:10:00.001+08:00

It's been all angry last week.
It's gonna be all sad this week.

Will I be fine for the party?
Or will I have to fake it?

Untitled.

2010-03-09T07:30:00.003+08:00

I find it funny how everyone misunderstood what I meant by "being alone".

I'm not particularly afraid of going out of Singapore alone, I'm not afraid that I don't know what I want in life. I don't have such deep thoughts. What I'm afraid of is much much simpler.

I'm afraid of being alone. Literally alone.

On campus, I'm the new kid, the new ASIAN kid. You know how racist the people in the States can be. "Chink," they'd say. I have my terrible flaws like my disorders, my acne, my body. My disorders are never spoken of here in SG because it's scary to talk about it. The people there won't care and will make fun of it. Before I know it, I'll be labeled "Psycho". My acne isn't made fun of here because a lot of people have acne too. But mine is considered bad over there. My body... Let's face it, I don't even have Bs.

Oh my god, I can hear it now, "You know that new kid? That flat-chested, psycho with really bad acne?" Oh god.

And this is only a fraction of my overall fears.

I don't wanna talk about it anymore.

2010-03-08T00:49:00.003+08:00

I want to get a new job.
But I'm afraid of being alone.
I want to study in the States.
But I'm terrified of being alone.

I'm stuck because of this fear.

Does anyone understand?
Can anyone talk to me?

2010-03-07T21:10:00.001+08:00

I've always been denying this, but there is a possibility that I might've truly loved that guy once.

2010-03-07T02:01:00.000+08:00

また一人で

2010-03-06T23:11:00.002+08:00

I think I just lost my best friend.
Ah, stress, what a terrible terrible bitch you are.

Drastic Decision

2010-03-06T20:03:00.004+08:00

[Click here if you don't know the details to the White Valentine's Party on March 14th]

I made a very important, very drastic decision this morning. All because a certain someone refused to answer my calls, 'cause her mum was around, chose not to get out of the house to call back, but instead messaged me to ask what happened. I, in return, refused to reply her message.

I'm tired of messaging people. I hate messaging. Can't we call each other like normal teenagers? And I normally don't call people up for nothing. It always will be something big.

My Dad woke me up at 8 in the morning, telling me of this University/College Fair that's going on. I initially chose to think about it 'cause I was tired and lazy. He decided to try another time at 10am. More awake, I called up the certain someone. She refused to pick up my call because there wasn't a sense of urgency in her.

She can't pick up phone calls at home because of her mum, but I honestly believe that if she felt my call was important enough, she would be able to come up with a plan to answer the stupid call. But she didn't. "Fine. So be it," I thought. Angry and upset, I got up, got dressed and went to the Fair. I decided and I've made a very important decision that will make or break my future.

I'm going to study in the States. Next year if they'll accept me.

My Dad doesn't want me to live here anymore. And he's willing to sacrifice his retirement for the sake of paying for my studies. I've checked through the Colleges and Universities of the Arts and I've picked SCAD, The University for Creative Careers, and Columbia College Chicago. I want to get into either schools, and study Fashion. I finally know what I want to do. I want to be a designer. Another choice I have, however, is to study in the University of San Francisco, and study Philosophy. Because, I could choose to be a designer any time and not pursue it as a professional career. But I'm scared, because the world of Fashion is risky, and competitive.

I want to be a writer, a model, a fashion designer, a stylist. I want to set up my own business, my own boutique, my own Maid Cafe. I want to be a poet and a philosopher. And I'm pretty sure I want to be more but I can't think of anything else right now.

+ I want to be a writer.
I could be one at any given time. But not a professional one. I can write a book on my Father, on what a great man he is. I could write a book about my life, though I doubt people would buy that book. I could choose to write fiction, and start my own series altogether. I don't need to be a professional.

+ I want to be a model.
This, I can do freelance.

+ I want to be a fashion designer.
I could always design my own clothes and start my own business.

+ I want to be a stylist.
This is something that requires training and studies. So I don't know. But I could still always start my own makeover business.

+ I want to set up my own boutique.
Really, need more be said?

+ I want to set up my own Maid Cafe.
I'll have to reconsider this one. If I do return to Singapore after studying, I'll definitely set up my own Maid Cafe and Boutique.

+ I want to be a poet.
I could also do this freelance, though not widely recognized. I always seen poetry more as a hobby anyway.

+ I want to be a philosopher.
I really want to study Philosophy, but I can study that as a Minor and not a Major in the University of San Fransisco.

I don't know what I should do. The SAT exam is coming up on May 1st.

Can I discuss this with someone who understands? I'm having an argument with my best friend because she's the certain someone who refused to pick up my call. Her actions recently has put me in a huge amount of stress and I've just snapped.

However, I already decided that I want to study in the States. Regardless of their Racism problems. Even though that's one of the reasons why I'm afraid.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mood: Stressed

2010-03-06T01:27:00.002+08:00

Never would I have thought that I would fall for Kusano Akira of Nobuta wo Produce.
YAMAPI!!
Oh god, his voice is melting my heart.

White Valentine's Party Details

2010-03-05T23:32:00.004+08:00

I went out with the girls today.

We went to check out the function room and, it's a little medium small-ish but it's alright I guess. Now I just need to plan what goes where.

And today, Chris, Hei and I went KBOX-ing. 3 hours and it's still not enough. I don't have much to blog about today really.

Anyway, the details to the party are up on facebook, http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=343478199225. Do check it out, if you're coming. If you're interested in coming, drop me a note.

For those who don't use facebook, here's the details.

White Valentine's Party

Date: Sunday, March 14, 2010
Time: 6pm - 12 midnight
Location: 33 Club Street, Emerald Garden Condominium

** STRICTLY FOR SINGLES ONLY **

Entrance Fee: $2 per person
Dress Code: Formal/Something Cool

- - -

+ Guests are allowed to bring friends, that's the whole point of the party actually, but please do not bring too many.
+ Refreshments are provided but please do not expect it to be filling.
- However, there will be delicious fondue, cookies, cupcakes and pizza.
+ Please wear something you can dance in. There's definitely gonna be dancing.
+ There is also a pool. If you wish to jump in, please bring proper attire and not jump straight in with just your boxers, or undergarments.
- However, if you wish to enjoy the pool, I'll jump in with you.

The whole objective of this party is to meet new people, make new friends, find your potential girlfriend/boyfriend, and have fun.

- - -

For those who aren't sure where Emerald Garden Condominium is, meet up at Chinatown MRT. A short, cute escort will come to lead the way.

P.S. - The entrance fee is to insure the function room in the event that it gets thrashed.

If you have any inquiries, please contact either me or Christina.

Love,
Red.

There you have it. Like I said, if you're interested, I'm only a text message away. We're short on girls btw.

And now I'm gonna go watch Nobuta wo Produce.

Ciao.

Humans

2010-03-04T10:40:00.003+08:00

I woke up this morning, feeling better. I slept off all the negative emotions and I'm hungry now.

I went on facebook to find a sad song written because of me. My true feelings about it? Indifference. I feel no remorse, I feel no guilt, I feel nothing. Why? Because her insecurities got in the way, her paranoia got in the way, leading her to where she is today.

And I came up with a quote:
Humans are funny little creatures. The tighter your grip, in hopes of not letting them slip away, the more they slip through between the cracks of your clenched fist. Loosen your grip and steady your palm, and what you wish not to lose, will stay.

I admit that i'm the one with more flaws i guess to make this friendship work better. I know, that most of the time the words coming out from my mouth are like daggers that pierce.

We're all equal in flaws. No one's better than the other, why can you not accept that fact? Why do you always have to demote yourself and keep telling yourself you're FLAWED? That's the root of all your insecurities. Do you want to know what I think? I think you're a beautiful girl inside and out. And when that disease is done, you're gonna shine like every single one of us. You have a great personality, you have discipline, you're comfortable with who you are and you don't care if people stare. And you write songs! When I first heard that you write your own songs, I immediately thought, "Oh my god, my primary school friends have all become so freaking cool! I'm so proud to know people like these!" I even wrote a post about it. How I thought it was so cool.

You wanna talk about flaws, then let me show you that I'm your equal. I get occasional relapses from a hatred so pure and condensed, it turned into an irrational fear. One would call it being traumatized. When I have a relapse, my other disorders surface. Because of that guy, I developed a State-Dependent Minor Personality. In other words, I suffer from split-personality disorder, but she only comes out in certain specific situations. You have no idea at all how weird it is having another entity living in this body. Does the name "Rachel" seem familiar to you? I have Paranoid Personality Disorder, which is why I see things in situations that people don't. I'm able to foresee the worst-case-scenario from miles away because of this. And I've been brushed off as being insecure and crazy because of this. I have Bipolar Disorder and as you can see, I went from "happy-excited" to "goddamn-motherfucking-pissed" instantly. I have really bad acne that I'm so insecure about, I literally slap on 4 layers of of makeup on my face. I'm not comfortable with who I really am, I'm not comfortable with what I look like. I can't keep my mouth shut because if I don't let out the negative feelings immediately, the feeling intensifies with each day that I leave it alone and when I get mad at something else, the explosion is twice the size initially intended and needed. Want to know how much trouble I've gotten into because of this?

I've never spoken of this, much less about Rachel, in fear of how society would accept me. But I needed this to prove my point. I'm flawed, terribly flawed, we're all flawed one way or another. But we don't let our flaws get the better of us. I am your equal, not your better, not your worse.

The words that came out of your mouth however, were not piercing like daggers. They don't hurt, but they offend, because you weren't able to express properly how you truly felt. And your timing is truly impeccable. We already have a lot on our own hands, so I apologize for not having enough time to address your situation properly.

I know that things have come to such a point, that i don't wanna explain much longer since you keep interpreting things the wrong way when i was meaning it well, no sacastism or anything. You just keep , keep taking it wrongly. Then what the hell could i do? It pains my heart to see you reacting like this when i spent so much effort trying to explain myself and you still got it wrong.

Haven't you heard? If the writer is unable to express himself precisely and clearly, he is at fault for his readers' misunderstanding. I know you meant to apologize but it was written in such a way that made it an invitation for an argument.

Here are a few points that I have to make.

1) You're not the glue. You may have been but things have changed. The real glue is Amanda who brought the honeybabes together. You brought me and Amanda together and I am unduly grateful for that but please be ever so humble to stop thinking that you're the glue forever.
2) If you're uncomfortable about the things we're doing, why do you not voice out? The fact that you want to influence us, and quite possibly restrict us of certain wild fun because you're uncomfortable with it, bothers me quite a lot. I sought belonging in Amanda, because she is the one and only person that made my wild wishes come true. But if you felt truly uncomfortable, I would show my respect and back down. Why? Because I'm grateful to you, because I respect you. Respect is something that is earned and you earned it.

My heart is hurting now literally... Whenever there's something i felt that is wrong, i still keep it to myself most of the time because mainly because i hate having to argue actually. I was never born to argue, nor to win arguments. When your told me your troubles , i tried to understand but there wasn't much comforting words i could say because i've never been in that situation before nor i want to give you false hopes.

You heart hurts. Do you think mine doesn't? What do you take me for, some hard-hearted, hot-headed bitch? I'm annoyed with my own problems already, and it pains me to write this all out, to let the negative feelings go away. Because if I don't do it now, the damage done later will be even greater and we will even cease to be friends. You tried to understand, thank you, I'm very happy you tried. And it was a good decision that you made to not talk about it. So thank you.

I'm really really getting sick of this, because everything i do seems to make the situation worser. After so much time we spent together, and your are the ones that i chose to stick with instead of all the others which i slowly lost contact with and now its gone.. No matter how much i try not to lose your, i just seem to be unable to stop that...

I'm getting sick of this too. But as I've said, humans are funny little creatures. The tighter your grip, in hopes of not letting them slip away, the more they slip through between the cracks of your clenched fist. Loosen your grip and steady your palm, and what you wish not to lose, will stay. Because of your insecurities, you tightened your grip, suffocating us, me. Now, let go of your insecurities and do not doubt the bond, and when you finally do, you'll see that we were never in any danger of floating away.

Let me tell you the truth why it didn't cross my mind to make you come along to our little activities. I told you once that it was saddening to go out with chio friends because guys always only ask for their numbers. You told me, you wouldn't mind being the ugly friend to help me. That made me sick. You stand as my equal, not below. When in the jesus are you going to accept that you're a goddamn equal to me?! To all of us?! You were never inferior to us, you were just as cool, just as beautiful, even more beautiful because of your inner beauty. Inner beauty is something I lack, something I can never have, and you have it. I envy people who have it. I wish I could be like people who're able to still smile and say, "It's okay, I forgive you." I wish I could be just like you.

But I can't.

So stop moping about your insecurities and start acting like the tall, proud, woman you really are. You have something I can never attain in a hundred lifetimes. So fucking be grateful about it and stand as our equal already!

I want to plan this party with you, I want to share my problems with you, I want to go out with you, I want to do normal things with you. I want to give you makeovers, I want to give you manicures. I want to be your best friend too. So hurry up and accept yourself for who you are, then slowly explain to me, how great it feels to be comfortable with oneself, what amazing confidence you have, how your armor doesn't crack despite what other stupid people say. What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.

Why can you not see that I love you just as much...?

2010-03-04T00:20:00.005+08:00

Woo.
I feel tons better now after writing that out.
The tightness that was around my chest is now gone.

But don't talk to me.
Because another word anyone of you say will start an argument.

Thank you.

And no, I don't intend on selfishly giving this plan up.